shattered heart | j.j.k

I Love You | 54

Y/N's POV:

"Aww Jungkook, thanks!  If you don't mind, can I sleep with you?"

I didn't want to make things even more awkward than it already was. As you can obviously see, I hate being in awkward situations. I also knew that he suggested the idea because he only thought of me as a friend.

Jungkook doesn't think of me as a woman. Just a friend. A good friend that's scared of the dark and needs a companion.

"S-sure," Jungkook said. "I don't mind." He smiled sweetly at me.

I placed the candle I had back onto the kitchen table and closed the drawer I had opened. As soon as he grabbed his phone, we both headed into my parent's room.

"Thanks Jungkook," I said. "Anyways, good night." I quickly slipped myself under the covers to avoid any conversation and was waiting for him to do the same, but it never happened.

Sitting up, I looked around the room and spotted him on the floor, curled like a shrimp.

"Hey, what're you doing down there?" I asked laughing. "Come here."

He opened his eyes, and smiled. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable sleeping with a guy."

"It's fine Jungkook," I said rolling my eyes. "It's not like we're going to cuddle and hug each other all night."

I was actually really nervous. I mean, I'm sleeping with my crush, in the same bed, not even a foot apart from each other.

Jungkook laughed with me and got off the floor. "If you don't mind, can I sleep on the bed?"

"Yah," I said jokingly. "You're making me seem so mean. It's not like I forced you to sleep there."

He continued to laugh before settling himself onto the bed. I was sleeping on the right, he was sleeping on the left.

"Anyways, good night Jeon."

"Good night Y/N."

Jungkook's POV: the next day...

"Frick," I whispered. I woke up to Y/N snuggled up on my chest, my arms around her waist, and our legs intertwined with each other. Our foreheads were touching and our lips were barely an inch away.

It would've been easy to just kiss her, but I resisted because the kiss would mean nothing. Over the past year, I've come to realize how much I've changed because of Y/N. Past me would've just did what I wanted, without caring about the other girl.

Everything I did had no meaning, it was simply done out of impulse and based on my personal needs at the time, so I never thought much about savoring the moment. But everything changed. I refused to kiss Y/N while she was asleep.

If we ever did get together, I wanted her first kiss to be special and memorable. Not with a douchebag that creepily placed his lips on her.

"I like you so much," I breathed out.

Every time I looked at her, my breathing quickened and my heart fluttered. The corners of my mouth would want to tug up and my magnet like body would always be attracted to her. My personality and the way I acted would change, solely to impress her or show her how good I was.

All of these things were happening to me, and me being the idiot I was, never realized my feelings for her. At least not until I almost lost her.

"You, you don't deserve a guy like me," I quietly whispered. "You deserve someone much better, someone that'll treat you like a princess."

After gently unwrapping my hands off her waist, I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled.

"And sadly, that person. It won't be me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've believed you, and I didn't. I don't know, I guess I was afraid? Never have I felt these strong feelings before, and it was so foreign I just didn't know how to react."

Slowly, I slipped my leg out from underneath hers and distanced our bodies.

"When I almost lost you, it was then that I understood that I liked you. I still do," I said chuckling.

"But you won't ever like a guy like me. A guy that pushed you away in your darkest times. A guy that chose to put his trust in someone he just met instead of his best friend. A guy that's not selfless enough to leave your life."

By the time I almost finished my words, I was already sitting on the edge of her bed, ready to leave.

"But I'll always love a girl like you. A girl that stayed by my side despite the amount of times I left you. A girl that served as my shield and never left even though wounds covered your body. A girl that was so selfless that she let go of me so that I could find what I thought was my true happiness."

Standing at the door, teary eyed and smiling, I whispered, "That girl is you Y/N. I love you."

Y/N's POV:

"That girl is you Y/N. I love you."

I quickly sat up, sweating profusely. Looking to the side of me, there was nothing. Jungkook had already left.

"You idiot," I mumbled. "It was a dream. All a dream." Sighing, I ran a hand through my tangled hair. The scary thing was, it seemed so real and vivid. If I didn't wake up, I would've never thought it was a dream.

I could've sworn Jungkook whispered those sweet words right in front of me.

"Stop hallucination Y/N. Nothing happened. You just like him so much that your mind is playing tricks on you."

I face palmed and just dragged myself out of bed. Walking out of my room, I see Jungkook's back in my kitchen.

"What're you doing?" I asked in a groggy tone.

"I'm just cooking breakfast. Nothing much. Just sit down, you're still sick."

The sweet words he spoke made me crack a smile.

"Aww thanks Jeon, you really don't have to do all of this. Like actually," I said, sitting down.

"I'm ready to do anything for you to forgive me Y/N. This isn't even half of what I should do," Jungkook said sternly, stirring his food.

His voice sounded a bit cracky and nasally? If that's any good at explaining anything. I didn't pay much attention to it though since it could just be his morning voice.

"You're too sweet," I said.

I wasn't going to forgive him just yet. I meant what I said, he didn't have to do all these things for me to forgive him, but it'll definitely speed up the process. I wasn't sure of when I was going to forgive him. When we'd be able to go back to how we were, or when all my scars would heal.

But I knew deep down inside, I was going to forgive him.

To be Continued...