shattered heart | j.j.k

Dead | 62

Y/N's POV:

I groggily woke up, sitting up almost immediately, scanning my surroundings.  My whole entire arm felt paralyzed and sore, the black stitches lacing my red skin.  I pressed my lips together and fluttered my eyes.

Huffing out a sigh, I squinted my eyes to look at the time.  

'12 in the afternoon, great.'

I felt naseous and dizzy, probably due to the side effects of amnesia.  The procedure, I'm guessing, went by smoothly.  

"What is my life even?" I muttered, ruffling my hair.

I was so exhausted, I didn't even bother informing the nurses of my state.  I grabbed my phone to check the time, but saw something that made me break down.  It was a picture of Jungkook and I.  I had made it my homescreen right after we left the movie theatre's that day.

The day that made life a living nightmare.

I lost all hope.  

"I'm sorry," I whispered, clutching the silver device in my hand.  "I'm so  sorry."

I leaned against the white wall, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"It was me, i-it was supposed to be me.  I was the one that should've been hit."

Cold tears ran down my neck and stained the hospital gown.  

"Instead, your life got taken.  If I could go back in time, I would.  If I could've been in your spot, I would.  If I could've confessed to you, I would."

I silently cried to myself, sitting in the small corner of the bed.  

"Y/N-" Taehyung burst into my room, panting as he clutched the door frame.  His eyes were surrounded by rings of red and puffy bags of skin bulged from underneath.  It was evident that he had been crying.

I hurriedly wiped the tears off my cheeks using the sleeve of my hospital gown and wore a smile.

"Hey Taehyung, what's-"

"Jungkook, h-he's dead," Taehyung muttered, his bottom lip  quivering.

"W-what?" My eyes widened and my jaw dropped.  I couldn't believe it.  I never would've thought that fate would be this cruel.  Although I was drowning in despair, the small seed of hope resting in my heart never left.

"N-no you've got to be joking," I said, laughing in disbelief.  "Stop joking Taehyung, it's not funny." 

The poor boy looked at me silently before his mournful gaze dropped to the floor.  Frowning, he softly shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"St-stop it TaeTae.  Stop lying to me.  If this is one of your pranks it's not funny," I stammered, forcing out a chuckle.

"I'm sorry Y/N, it's, it's not a joke."  Taehyung looked at me teary eyed.  "He passed away 5 minutes ago."

As soon as those words left his mouth, I went silent.  It seemed as if the entire hospital went silent, or, it was just me.  My heart dropped into the pit of sadness and regret and shattered until I could practically feel the shards puncture my body.  

The color drained out of my face and the smile I previously wore turned into a blank expression.  I was in a state of shock, no tears could come out of my eyes.  

"Y/N, a-are you okay?"  Taehyung weakly asked.

I didn't respond.  Instead, I got up and walked right past Taehyung and out the door without saying a word.  The walk to Jungkook's hospital room was painfully slow.  Every step excruciatingly heavy.  My limp body didn't seem to want to continue moving.

I was filled with fear.  Fear that what Taehyung said was true.  That he was gone.  That Jungkook slipped through my fingers, and it was all because of me.  The reason why his frail body laid upon a white bed, it was my fault. 

Jungkook's life was taken because of me.  Because I was selfish.  Because I wanted him to be with me, because I needed his love.  If I would've just cut ties and never talked to him again, everything could've been avoided.

If that fateful first day at highschool, I wasn't late.  Maybe we would've never crossed paths.  Maybe I wouldn't have fallen in love.  Maybe he wouldn't be dead right now.

My pale, seemingly white hand trembled in front of the silver doorknob.  Closing my eyes and clenching my jaw, I grabbed the handle and quietly walked into his room, gently closing the door behind me.

Jungkook looked so peaceful tucked under those white sheets.  It was as if he was still alive and well.  I slowly made my towards him, seating myself on the small black chair beside his hospital bed.

My hand softy caressed the right side of his face, gently tracing his defined features while I started tearing up.  Surprisingly, his cheeks were still warm and his lips remained a rosy pink.  

I brushed away the strands of hair covering his eyes, my tears dropping onto his cheeks.

"Why did you do it," I whispered trembling.  "Why."

I stared at his face, and when his mouth remained shut, I sobbed uncontrollably.

"J-Jungkook, I'm so sorry," I hiccuped out.  "Please forgive me, a-and wake up."

"I forgive you now!  I forgive you for what you did, even if you hurt me I'd still forgive you."

"Y-you were an amazing person, even if I didn't show it, I cared for you a lot Jeon."

"I cared for you so much you wouldn't even know," I muttered sadly.

"So why'd you do it?  Why'd you save me?  I was meant to die, not you, definitely not you."

I slowly grabbed his hand and intertwined it with mines.

"So then tell me," I said weakly.  "Tell me why you did that for me."

To be Continued...

authors note:  hey it's me again. hi. i've been gone for what? three weeks? sorry for the lack of updates guys. i've just been really busy and emotionally unstable that i haven't gotten around to updating this sorry. you readers honestly make me so happy you don't even know. the one star or reader that adds my story to their reading list, thank you. you make my day so much better. thank you to everyone, even the people that aren't active. i appreciate each and every single on of you. i'm also sorry for the cliffhanger i left y'all on :)) hopefully you're still reading this weird boring book.

                                                                                               -jiminiechimchimjams