STEPPING UP [BOYXBOY]✔️

CHAPTER 4: BE GOOD ENOUGH

PETER PARKER
Present

"Happy, please!" I begged him, "we have to do something! I can't let MJ get hurt, especially because of me." My eyes began to water a bit but I cleared my throat and choked them down.

Happy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It isn't safe right now. I know how much you like her but at the moment this isn't your job. I can send some guards to watch over her but you have to stay here."

"Then what is my job, exactly?" I scoffed.

"Right now, it's to stay here and let me handle it," he insisted.

"No," I began, "that isn't enough. Aren't you the one who's been encouraging me to be Spiderman again? Where did that Happy go? Because I like him a lot more."

He shook his head and groaned. "You know I'm only doing this to protect you, it's not fair for you to blame it on me."

"Yeah. I know." I chuckled bitterly, "so who's fault do you think it is?"

"Who's fault for what?" he questioned.

"This. All of this. Tony dying, Mysterio dying, Black Widow dying, Captain America off the grid for good and now MJ is going to die too!" I cried, voice rising to a high pitch as it broke in half. "Tell me, who's fault is all of that? Because I'd love to know."

I knew it wasn't Happy's fault, obviously, and he knew that I knew that. He understood what I was asking.

Asking if he thought it was my fault.

He didn't respond at first and just pulled me into a hug. The second I felt his arms wrap around me I began to sob into his chest, "who's fault is it?" I blubbered, voice barely coming out as a whisper, "it's mine, I did all of this. I'm the villain, just like everyone's saying I am," I choked out.

"Look at me, it isn't your fault. You might have special powers but you're still human and it isn't fair for everyone to expect you to be perfect, for you to expect yourself to be perfect. I know everyone is tough on you but that's just because we see how much potential you have," he mumbled and rubbed my back soothingly. "Out of all people to believe in you, Tony Stark did. That's one of the world's biggest accomplishments if you ask me."

I kept crying. I couldn't help it. Everything hurt too much.

"It's okay, Pete." He consoled, "it's going to be ok, just calm down, yeah?" I nodded and continued to let the tears poor out of my eyes for another moment before pulling away.

I wiped the droplets off of my face. "So can I go?"

He looked away guiltily, "I'm sorry, but no. The civilians are still convinced you're a villain and there's a killer out there just waiting for you to show up so he can kill you too. I need to protect you, I promised Tony I would protect you at all costs and that's exactly what I'm doing."

The hurt echoed across my features and my fists clenched. He went to talk again, probably to tell me I was being irrational- which I was, but I shot out a web over his mouth.

"I'm sorry too." He looked at me with wide eyes and struggled to get it off but to no avail. He's just a normal guy. He can't get it off himself. I shot out two more webs to stick each of his arms to the wall. "That'll come off in two hours, don't worry!"

I felt bad but now was the time to be selfish. I can't let anyone else I love die. I just have to remember what Quentin said.

"Maybe if you were good enough, Tony would still be alive."

I need to be good enough this time. I can't let myself get held back and watch everyone I care about die. I couldn't look up to meet his gaze.

"Maybe I'll die, I don't know. But if it means I can save at least one life then it's worth it. Because of me, Tony died. My own dad disappeared with no explanation and Tony cared about me more than that man ever could. Tony had faith in me that nobody could get rid of and I messed up. I messed it all up. And Mysterio.