My Soul Will Find Yours : The Fulfillment of the Promise

Please Make It Stop

Hundreds of words surged inside my brain as I phrased and rephrased the questions in my head. However, when I met his gaze, my mind went blank and I was suddenly at a loss for words. I was eighty percent prepared to utter my queries but his eyes halted my speech and destroyed my thought process.

Charles reached out to gently tap my right shoulder and, with a frown, said, "Breathe, Nat."

When the meaning of his words registered in my brain, I felt myself exhale. I didn't realize that I was unconsciously holding my breath. I felt the rush of blood on my cheeks up to my ears as I hurriedly lowered my eyes. I heard him chuckle.

"You are so weird," he said while ruffling my hair.

"Hey!" I slapped his hand, a bit miffed that he was treating me like a kid.

He laughed and removed his hand only to capture a few stray strands of my hair and twirl it in his fingers. "So, what was your question?"

I opened my mouth and was about to speak when I was rudely interrupted.

"What's this?" a familiar male voice said, it was cold and reproving. "Flirting in broad daylight?"

Charles and I turned our heads in unison to see Tyler and Rachelle watching us. Rachelle, whose arm was hooked on my ex's, looked surprised while Tyler's face was black and his hands were balled into fists.

"Hey, cousin," Charles drawled, his fingers still playing with my hair. "Hi, Rachelle."

Tyler glared at Charles, he looked like he wanted to chop his cousin's hand off. When he saw that we both didn't care about his reaction, he roughly pushed Rachelle aside and stomped towards us. He was so quick that she wasn't able to stop him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Charles asked when he realized that he was about to yank his hand away.

"I could ask the same for you!" Tyler said vehemently. He then turned his attention to me and asked, "Is he the reason why you've been rejecting me? Have you two gotten together?"

I ignored him and turned my back on him. Seeing that I couldn't be bothered with answering his cousin, Charles did the same.

"Nat, I'm talking to you. Don't treat me like air," Tyler grabbed my elbow and pulled me up to a standing position.

I twisted my arm away and frowned at him. "Did you forget who you're with? Isn't your fiancée pregnant? Why are you giving her grief by pestering your ex in front of her?"

"Nat, you know I'm only marrying her because I got her pregnant..."

I heard Rachelle gasp. Seeing her hurt expression reminded me of Mami's face when she saw Iura-san being framed by the mikado.

"You are such a douchebag, Ty," I turned away and signaled for a wait staff to prepare our bill.

"But it's the truth!" he insisted. "Nat, I still and will forever love you!"

"We're in a public place, don't cause a scene!" I hissed at him before adding, "For the nth time, I no longer feel the same for you, I've long since moved on."

Seeing that his fiancée was about to burst into tears, I grabbed my bag and prepared to leave. I didn't want to add more drama to this already dramatic situation. It was best for Charles and I to leave as soon as possible. Charles handed the waitress his card and waited for our payment to be processed then took the box of cheese tarts I bought him. He gave Rachelle a quick nod and escorted me out of the restaurant.

"On behalf of my cousin, I would like to express my deepest apologies," he said as we walked to the parking area.

I sighed and fished out my car keys, "I just wish he'd leave me alone, Charles."

"I've tried talking some sense into him but he wouldn't listen," he shook his head before opening my car door for me. "Sorry that our lunch got ruined... And thanks for the cheese tarts."

"You're welcome," I smiled and went inside. I was about to start the engine when he knocked on my car window. "Anything else?"

With his free hand in his pocket and a shy smile on his face, he asked, "I was wondering if you're free tonight because I'd like to invite you to dinner."

"Sorry, Charles, but I already made a promise to mum that we'll be eating together tonight."

"Oh," he frowned, clearly disappointed. "Maybe next time then."

"Really sorry," I apologized again.

"It's okay. Drive safely," he stepped back and waved.

"Thanks," I pushed the button that lifted the window back up, honked my horn once, and drove back to the office.

~~~

The rest of my day at work was mentally taxing, to say the least. Because my memory of what happened before I left for Japan was a bit blurry, I had a hard time trying to keep up with the topics discussed in the meeting. Thankfully, my keeping silent went unnoticed. Otherwise I would've embarrassed myself. When I got back to my private office, I locked the door, drew the vertical blinds, and slumped on my chair.

While massaging my forehead, I stared at my phone and drew strength from my family's smiles. A few minutes passed before I felt refreshed again. I did some neck rotation exercises, cracked my knuckles, and unlocked my office door.

"You can do this, Hina!" I muttered to myself before poring over the reports on my desk.

~~~

Dinner was delicious and filling, I had two huge bowls of the hearty soup mum made. Mum and I talked about how our day went, laughed at the video of my cat going nuts over his new catnip toy, and agreed on seeing a movie on the weekend. The only time the warm atmosphere slightly altered was when I mentioned what happened at the Japanese restaurant earlier. When dinner ended, I helped mum clean up. I then bade her goodnight, hopped into the shower, and washed all the stress of the day away.

"Anata, today almost killed me," I said while towel drying my hair with one hand and holding my phone with the other. "But seeing your smiles made me feel better."

I hung my damp towel on a peg by the door and sat on the edge of my bed.

"I miss you all," I continued. "I wonder when we'll see each other again."

I crawled towards my pillows, turned off my lampshade, and randomly selected a song on my phone. I hummed along as the familiar melody played, but when the second stanza came, my throat began to constrict...

I'll watch the night turn light blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly[1]

I grabbed the pillow next to me tightly as I fought my tears. As the song continued, my breath hitched and my tears fell.

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear, "Oh, darling, I wish you were here."

"Kaname..." I clutched my chest as my sobs grew louder. "My love, it hurts. Please make it stop."

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[1] Songwriter: Adam R. Young

Vanilla Twilight lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group