My Soul Will Find Yours : The Fulfillment of the Promise

The Difference Between My First Pregnancy and This One Was Very Stark

“Thanks again, doc,” Kaname told the doctor for the nth time, his eyes one hundred percent on the printouts of the two croissants in his hands.

“It’s my pleasure, Mr. Kirishima,” the kind doctor said. “Please don’t forget to get your milk and vitamin samples from my secretary.”

My husband nodded and finally put away the pictures in my bag which was slung on his shoulder. He was grinning from ear to ear and whistling a tune the entire drive home from the hospital, which I understood as it was both our first time to see and hear the twins like that. The experience was very memorable.

The first thing he did when we arrived home was to look for frames to put the two grainy printouts of the sonogram my doctor gave us in. When he found them, he gave one to mum and placed the other on top of his bedside table. I was feeling tired so I took a quick shower and slept. When I woke up, Kaname was packing up. I checked the time on the clock and saw that I slept for more or less an hour.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” he asked as I slowly got up.

I shook my head and yawned. “Why didn’t you turn on the lights or part the curtains? It’s so dark, how can you see properly?”

“You were sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you,” he explained, placing his small bag of toiletries in his duffel bag as he did so. “Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?”

“I want some apples,” I told him honestly. Even though I was gaining weight as needed, I was still not eating much. The difference between my first pregnancy and this one was very stark.

“Alright, I’m almost done here so I’ll cut and peel you some in a bit.”

Although I was already awake, he still didn’t do anything to brighten up the room so I went to the window and parted the curtains myself to let the midafternoon sunlight in.

“Do you need some help?” I asked after a while.

“No, thank you,” he smiled at me, zipped his bag close, then hung the now vacant hangers back inside the closet. “I’ll head downstairs now and prepare your apples.”

As soon as the bedroom door closed, I opened his bag to check if he didn’t forget to bring anything. Prior to all these first trimester difficulties happening, I was always the one who prepared his shoot necessities. I choked up a bit when I saw that everything, from the arrangement to the contents, was exactly how I used to do it. With misty eyes, I reclosed his bag.

Kaname came back a few minutes later with a bowl of sliced skinless Fuji apples and a glass of lemon water. He placed them on top of the dresser and pulled out the chair for me. I sat down, thanked him, and began eating in silence while he put on his shoes.

“Anata…”

“Mmm?”

“What time will you be home tonight?” His photoshoot for the fast-food chain was scheduled at five.

“I don’t know yet but I promise to come home as soon as the shoot ends.”

“What…” I gulped, trying to get rid of the awkwardness and hesitance I was feeling. “What would you like for dinner?”

“I don’t think I’ll be having dinner here; I’ll be shooting print ads for a restaurant after all,” he stood up and grabbed his bag, ready to leave.

“Oh, that’s right…” I tried and succeeded in hiding my disappointment although deep down I was drowning in it, I couldn’t even make up for being so unpleasant towards him lately.

“Eat as much as you can later, okay?” he kissed my forehead, the smell of his perfume lingered in my nose. “Don’t wait up for me if you’re already feeling sleepy.”

“I-I won’t sleep until you arrive, I’ll wait for you in the living room!” I replied, my tone sounding as though I was making a vow. My disappointment just a while ago was suddenly replaced by determination, I was resolute in making it up to him no matter what.

“You don’t have to,” he insisted gently.

I looked down, my lips pressed into a tight line, as angry tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

“I have to go.” He obviously didn’t notice my frustration because after giving me another kiss at the top of my head, he finally left.

When I heard the car exit the driveway, the waterworks officially began. I cried while eating the rest of the apples he peeled especially for me, which I was sure looked like a pathetic sight if anyone saw. After some time, I felt slightly better. I went to the bathroom to rinse my face with water, a futile attempt at hiding my swollen eyes and reddened nose. I then combed my hair, tied it into a neat ponytail, and went downstairs.

“W-what a pleasant surprise,” I heard mum say as I reached the foot of the stairs.

Judging from how strained her tone sounded, she was feeling the opposite. With a frown, I walked towards the living room where her voice was coming from. She was telling our visitors to come in when I saw who came uninvited. I almost froze on the spot, it was Brandon and his mother!

“Sorry for coming without letting you know in advance, Gloria,” aunt Susan said while giving mum the box of pastries in her hand. “We were visiting a friend who lives a few blocks away, since we’re already in the area, we decided to drop by.”

“Is that so?” mum put on a forced smile. When she turned and saw me standing behind the sofa, her smile became even more fake. “Hina, look who came to visit us.”

“Hinata! How are you, my dear?” As though I was a very dear younger relative, Brandon’s mother hugged me tightly. I almost gagged when her strong perfume hit my nostrils.

“I’m f-fine, thanks for asking,” I replied, breathing through my mouth as I did so.

“Are you sure? My dear, you look pale!”

Mum noticed my discomfort and hurriedly walked to my side. “Her first trimester has not been easy on her, but she’s almost on her fourth month so she’d be feeling better soon.”

“First trimester?” a cold and detached voice repeated.

When my eyes turned to look at the face of its owner, it was stiff and unfeeling.

“So you’re pregnant, Hinata?” Brandon asked affectlessly.