*book 1* The Nightmare They Call Life

Chapter 14

Some say that your senior year is the best year of your life, but for me it's hell.

I don't understand why everyone hates me. I don't understand why people should say that I deserve to die when I did nothing. I don't understand how people could be so cruel, especially about something that happened 5 years ago. I'm a different person than I was when I was in 7th grade. I've changed a lot. I'm not as happy. My hair is longer. I'm not the same person.

Why do people still pick on me for being who I am? Why do people have something against people who are gay or bi. Or in my case were. I'm not that person anymore. I was going through a phase. It's not my fault.

I don't understand this world? I don't understand why I'm here. Sometimes I wish I never was. There would be no bullies. No heart break. No school. No rape. No insane father. I wouldn't even be here.

I took my anger out on my pillow and clothes. There were clothing shreds everywhere and pillow stuffing everywhere. I went into the bathroom and slit my wrist. I played blaring music as I did it.

"I think I slit my wrist again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone." My music played.

I slit my wrist 3 more times before I stoped. I washed my arms off and layed on the floor crying.

"I'm more scared than my wrist is."

*10 minutes later*

"Skylar! Skylar! Where are you?"

He ran upstairs and opend the bathroom door. He saw my lying on the floor. He turned my music off and picked me up taking me into his room.

"Skylar. What's wrong?"

I just stared at him. Not knowing what to say.

"Why is all your stuff torn apart?" He asked looking confused.

I started crying. I cried for a long time. He sat on the bed with me and pulled me into his arm for a hug.

"What's wrong? You need to speak to me baby."

"I can't do this anymore."

"Do what? Is this about what happens with our friends today?"

"No. It's Crystal. She's bullying me. I can't do it anymore."

"Skylar you're going to be ok. What did she say to you?"

"S-she told me t-that I was nasty and t-that she was going to tell the whole school about why I was gone. She knows. She knows I was raped by my father."

"Sky. It's ok. Don't let her get to you."

"She told me that I deserved to die. That she was going to make my life a living nightmare."

He held me closer to him. I could feel his tears dripping down from his face and onto my head. I looked at him with a confused look.

"W-why are you crying?"

"I feel so bad for you Sky. You shouldn't have to go through that."

"But I do."

"Give me your wrists Skylar."

"No!" I said sternly so that he would not look at them.

"Let me see." He said back to me.

"No!" I pulled my wrists away from him.

He climbed ontop of me. He was straddling me. He pinned me down and took my wrists. I winced from the pain. He was covering his hands over my scars. He put pressure on them. I cried out, hoping he would get the picture.

He took the sleeve of my jacket and pulled it up. He saw my cuts. He kissed them.

"I love you Skylar. I'm getting worried about you. I'm going to make you go to a therapist. I'm doing this for your safety. I don't want you to die. You are my life. I need you. You need me too. We love each other too much for you to just throw it all way.

I knew I wasn't going to win this fight anymore. I didn't do anything. I just kissed him. Knowing that he was right. He was protecting me from myself, just like I asked him too.

I pulled back. I started to clean up my mess I made. I threw it all way.

"Let's go get you some more clothes. Since you clearly have none to wear for tomorrow." Ryan said.

"Ok but I'll pick out the pants. I have to go to a special store to get them. That's the only store that actually have pants that fit. Trust me it will save a lot of time."

"Ok."

*a couple of hours later*

I had supper and I put the clothes in the closet. I took a shower and I did my school work. I did what I could for the night. I still had a lot more to go but the teachers understood that I would take a while considering I was gone for a long time. I finished some of my work, not all. I still had a lot more to go. I was getting extremely tired. I think I might have passed out on Ryan's desk.