Something Stupid

Uncle Hawkeye

Narrator's POV

"Hey, Bruce." Tony said through the phone. He held Peter in his other hand.

Peter had a rattle in his hand, shaking it Tony's face.

"Who's this?" Bruce asked.

"It's me, Tony." Tony said.

"Abba." Peter said, shoving the rattle in Tony's face.

"Not now Peter." Tony  said.

"Oh, hey."

"Hi, listen. I've got some stuff to do, and Stephen's out on a mystic mission or something, and I really can't watch Peter right now."

"Okay, wait. I really can't watch him either. I'm-"

"No, I was calling to see if Thor was with you to take care of him." Tony said.

"No, he's back in Asgard." Bruce said.

"I thought he lived with you." Tony said.

Peter put the rattle up to Tony's face. "Eh!"

"Peter no, it's dirty." Tony told Peter. "Sorry." He apologized.

"Only when he's here on earth." Bruce said.

"Okay, I'll call Pepper and see if she can watch him." Tony asked.

"Alright. Good luck." Bruce said.

They hung up.

Tony dialed Pepper's number.

"Hello, this is Pepper Pots. I'm at a meeting right, and can't answer the phone. Please leave a message. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you."

"Urgh." Tony groaned. "Oh!" His head perked up. "Clint. He's got kids. He'll know what to do." He dialed Clint's number.

"Sup, Tin Man?" Clint said over the other side of the phone.

"Legolas, listen I need a favor..."

///0///0

"Oh, and make sure he gets his apple juice because he gets cranky without his sugars." Tony said, handing Clint Peter's sippy cup. "Also, his favorite book is there." He handed over Peter's baby bag.

"Uh... I-"

"And also, this is Lamby. Make sure he doesn't lose that because that's his favorite thing ever." Tony said, placing the baby carrier around Clint's shoulders with Peter hanging from his chest.

"Tony-"

"I've gotta run. Gotta get the Tower's selling contract finalized and stuff." Tony said. "You know my number, and in case of an emergency; Stephen's number is inside there somewhere." Tony said, halfway out the door. "I'll be back for him in a few hours, alright. See you later, bye."

With that, Tony was gone.

"I..." Clint looked down at Peter, who was looking up at him. "I guess it's just you and me now, Squirt." He said. "Where's Laura when you need her?" Clint asked, looking at Peter. "Lila's at soccer practice and Cooper has baseball...."

Peter looked at him. "Abba." He said, reaching for Clint's face.

"Yeah, let's not." He said, pushing Peter's hand away. "I don't know where your grubby little hands have been." He said. "I can't believe Stark just thinks he can dump his child on me and leave like that." He said. "I have things to do. Places to be. People to beat." He said. "You know what? Why don't we go pay your dad's fancy office a visit? Hm?"