Something Stupid

You're A Drama Queen

Narrator's POV

"Wow. You're taking this surprisingly better than I thought you would." Stephen told Tony as they walked away from the campus.

"Ch." Tony scoffed. "It's only five hours, big deal." He said, kicking a rock out of his way.

"Yeah. On his first day of school." Stephen said.

"Nothing's gonna happen." Tony said. "I remember my first day of school." He said. "I was so nervous that I totally ignored the fact that my shoe was untied...and I stepped on my shoe lace and fell right in front of the whole class and everyone laughed at me and I crIED! OH MY GOD, STEPHEN!" Tony took Stephen by the shoulders. "What if that happens to him, and he's scarred for life like I was? Then he'll never want to go back to school and drop out and become a crack addiction who..."

Stephen sighed. "Here we go."

///0///0

Tony looked at the clock on his wall, then out the window. "Maybe we should go back and get him." He said. "He still doesn't know how to tie his shoes."

Stephen sat on the couch, legs crossed, reading a book. "They teach them how to do that there." He said, keeping his eyes on the pages of the book. "Plus, he's wearing his shiny blacks shoes with the little latches."

Tony opened and closed his fists, his fingers jittering nervously and anxiously. "Maybe I should-"

"No." Stephen said.

"What if there's an attack and they capture Peter and take him away, and we never see him again for the rest of our lives?" Tony asked.

"Because villains are gonna go after a bunch of Little Tikes." Stephen said, flipping a page.

"What if he fell and scraped his knee and gets an infection caused by flesh eating bacteria, and they end up amputating his leg or he falls from a swing and busts his head open?" Tony asked. "There are tons of dangers in the playground. I remember once, on the slide, I cut my arm open while my underside was being burned."

"Tony." Stephen put his book down and looked at his boyfriend. "Necrotizing fasciitis is a very rare bacteria. Your chances of getting it are zero point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, four." Stephen went back to his book. "And the incident on the slide happened because you're an idiot."

"Hey, the four still counts. There's a chance!" Tony said. "This is a serious matter. Bacteria isn't something to joke about."

Stephen looked at Tony, who looked totally stressed out and like an anxious mess. He raised a brow, looking at him up and down before going back to his book. "You used to be hot."

///0///0

"Can we pick him up now?" Tony asked.

"Tony, it's only been two hours." Stephen said.

"Hey, getting there three hours early isn't gonna hurt anyone." Tony said.

"Since when do you show up early?" Stephen asked, preparing a salad for dinner later tonight.

"Since like...ever." Tony said. "Being early is my thing, you know."

"You're late to every single one of your meetings, and just last week you said you didn't care if you were late for a meeting, you insisted on having coffee before anything."

"BECAUSE COFFEE-" Tony took in a deep breath, and let it go slowly. "Because coffee gives me life." He said. "I just can't function properly without that first cuppa joe." He poured himself a cup of coffee.

"You know coffee increases your chance of dying earlier?" Stephen said.

"Oh, well in that case..." Tony poured his mug back into the coffee pot.