I'm Okay

I, Alex

TW: abuse and strong language

I wipe the sweat from my brow and continue chopping up vegetables for dinner. Glancing at the clock nervously, I begin to move faster. I toss the onions into the pan and quickly pour a box of pasta into the pot of boiling water.

My heart starting to race as the clock inches to six o'clock, I continue dicing tomatoes for the sauce. I hear the door open as I'm pouring the tomatoes into the pan and I jump a bit, burning my hand on the scorching hot pan. I bite back a yelp and quickly put the lid on.

James comes up behind me and grabs my ass, kissing the back of my neck. Forcing down a shudder, I plant a smile on my face and turn around to him.

"Hey James," I grin, kissing his cheek.

"Hey Lex~" he smirks a bit, kissing me deeply.

I pull away after a bit and he takes my hand. Fighting against the urge to pull my hand away, I intertwine our fingers and push down the pain of the burn.

"How was work, handsome?" I murmur.

'Get him in a good mood' I keep telling myself. 'Get him in a good mood and he might go easy on you later. Maybe he won't even drink tonight'

"It was good," he shrugs, letting go of my hand and reading through the mail I left on the counter for him.

He says I shouldn't be trusted to handle the bills and all that. He says I'm too dumb and I'd mess it up. I happen to disagree but James knows what's best for me.

"Wasn't dinner supposed to be ready by the time I got home?" He says, not looking up from the stack of bills, his voice edging on dangerous.

"I'm really, really so-"

"Enough of your damn excuses. I told you to have dinner ready by the time I came home. Are you too stupid to even do that?" He growls, standing up and grabbing my wrist, pulling me closer to him.

I swallow the lump in my throat and shake my head, tears filling my eyes.

He slaps me across the face and I bite my lip hard to keep a sob from escaping.

"Worthless whore," he growls, shoving me back slightly.

I try to steady myself with my hands only to burn the palms of both of my hands on the stovetop. I let out a cry and fall to my knees, my hands stinging from the burn.

He crouches down to my level, tilting my head up with two fingers.

'Stop crying' I tell myself. 'He likes when you cry. It makes him feel powerful. Don't give him that, Alex'

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears bottled up as he smirks at me.

"You look pathetic like that. You have no reason to cry," he growls.

"Well I'm sorry if I'm not made of stone, you can't keep treating me like this," I mumble, twisting away from his touch.

He slaps me again, both cheeks now stinging like hell. He stands up, dragging me up by the collar.

"Learn your place, bitch," he growls.

I thrash around, trying to escape his grasp. Tightening his grip, he starts choking me slightly.

"Repeat after me. I'm pathetic," he growls.

"I'm pathetic," I mumble, the tears starting to stream down my face.

"Louder," he glares.

"I'm pathetic," I say slightly louder, my voice cracking slightly.

"I'm not worthy of love."