I'm Okay

And to hold

TW: Mentions of abuse and rape

Thomas starts telling me everything, his sentences occasionally punctuated by a sob or a sniffle.

"Well... We got together during freshman year of college... He was so sweet. Like, unbelievably sweet. He'd always bring me cute little gifts when he knew I was stressed, he'd play with my hair while I studied... He just made me feel really safe. The abuse started about junior year, I guess. I was going to transfer to Columbia that year, but he didn't want me to."

Columbia? That's where I went... If it wasn't for that asshole, we could've met up again and neither of us would be in an abusive relationship...

"He wanted me to study abroad with him in France... I said no and he was pissed for days. He didn't talk to me or anything. Then he got drunk one night and stumbled into my dorm... He said he apologized for not talking to me and he wanted to have sex. I... I said no... B-but he wouldn't take that as an answer..." He trails off, crying harder.

I rub my thumb across his knuckles, shushing him softly.

"From that point on he'd get drunk, he'd cheat on me a ton, he never let me go to parties or hang out with my friends... Then after college came law school for me and a job for him. But it was really hard to pass the bar exam when I never had the chance to study and I was missing half of my classes because he beat me so badly... I'm still trying to pass it, right now I work as an intern."

"At my old firm," I nod and he nods in agreement.

The nurse knocks on the door and comes in with a clipboard. She stands in the middle of our two beds.

"Me. Jefferson... I didn't mean to listen in but I was just coming by to ask a few questions when I heard what you were telling Mr. Hamilton... Is it true?"

Thomas grips onto my hand and looks down, nodding slowly. She bites her lip.

"I'm really sorry, but I'll need to report this... " She sighs softly.

Thomas shakes his head quickly.

"Please, please don't. I beg of you. Please, you can't tell them. He'll be so mad when he finds out you know... You can't tell them," he pleads, on the verge of tears.

"I need to... They'll have to send it to the police as well. I know you're scared, but we have programs to help you. If he's found guilty, they can file a restraining order or even put him in jail. I promise he won't be able to hurt you."

Thomas is shaking and on the verge of tears but he nods hesitantly.

The nurse writes a few things down and asks him a few questions which he hesitantly answers.

She then gives us each some medication and unhooks my IV, as I'm rehydrated and I can drink now. A man comes in and puts my broken arm in a cast and my sprained wrist in a sturdier splint.

After they both leave, Thomas breaks down again.

"H-he said he'd kill me if I told..." He whimpers softly.

I carefully climb off of the cot and sit next to him. I delicately wrap my arms around him (as well as I could, considering they're both in pretty bad shape) and hold him close. He sobs into my chest and I rub his back carefully.

(Y'all are like "aww this is great maybe bad shit won't happen in this chapter and I'm just here knowing I'm about to fuck shit up real bad)

Nurse Alex comes back in and sits on the edge of his cot.

"There are many programs we have for victims of abuse... We also have several support groups if you'd like to attend any."

She hands him a piece of paper with a list of support groups.

People who suffered trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, the list of support groups seems to go on forever.

Thomas nods.

"Would I be able to bring someone with me? I don't really do too well in groups of people I don't know..."

She nods and he relaxes a bit. She then explains how they work. It seems pretty chill, just a group of people who used to be in abusive relationships talking about how it affects them and supporting each other on their journey.

We talk about the support groups and the abuse and stuff like that for a while before I look up to see James standing in the doorway. Alex stands up, obviously getting a bad vibe from the scowling man.

"Hello sir, is there anything I can do for you?" She asks in her professional work voice.

"I'm Alexander's husband," he says coldly, glaring at her and Thomas.

She nods and seems to shrink back from him a bit.

"We were just discu-"

"Shut up. I'm here to see him," he growls at her, taking a step closer to her.

She nods meekly and takes a step back, helping me back to my cot.

She walks out a bit after that, saying that she'll be in with lunch in a bit.

Poor girl. I remember her telling me about her abusive boyfriend last night and James was being a bit aggressive with her...

James quickly pulls the curtain between me and Thomas and I chew my lip. He looks angry.

(Alex the nurse's POV cuz why not)

I know the look he was giving Alexander. I've seen it too many times before.

I knew he was abusive the second he walked in with Alexander. The tight grip on his arm. The subtle looks. Never letting him speak.

I know damn well that Alexander didn't get into a fight.

I've used that excuse more than once.

The way he was nodding empathetically as Thomas talked. He knows what it's like. He knows what that kind of abuse is like.

I want to save him. I want to tell him that he can get out, he just needs to push through it and get help.

It took far too long for someone to tell me that.

Thomas and Alex are like mirror images of each other. A thin wall holding in a flood of terror and anxiety. A wall that's just about to crumble.

I recognize those bruises and hickeys and handmarks like an old friend. The ring of purple around their necks from being choked until they nearly pass out. The telltale look of constant fear I'm their eyes. Being afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting beat for it.

I saw the pure, unfiltered fear in Alexander's eyes when that man walked in and it makes me uneasy.

I want to help them...

---

(1182 words)
(Published July 29 2019)

Sorry for the short chapter y'all.

Okay, so I'm thinking of taking this book in two directions.

Option one: James thinks Alex told about the abuse and starts abusing him right there and then ppl walk in and he's caught and gets arrested and that's that.

Option two: James thinks Alex told about the abuse, starts being a dick in front of Thomas so now Thomas knows he's abusive too and once he leaves Alex tells him and the nurse but for whatever reason the nurse agrees not to tell. The nurse then helps sneak Alex to support groups where he gets super close to Thomas again. Then one day James finds out and beats Alex until he's nearly dead. Alex the nurse and Thomas come to pick him up for a support group only to find him nearly dead and James has left town. They save him and we move on from there.

Btw neither of these options are the ending. Far from it. They're just choices for how we get rid of James.

Plz comment here if you want option one or option two ✌️

Adios y'all