I'm Okay

Til death do us part

Midnight.

I'm reading a book in the dim lamplight, looking up at Alex every once in a while and smiling sadly.

His peaceful face is almost unsettling, but I know that the painkillers and all the medication he's on are making him more comfortable so that makes me feel better.

I wait until he's completely asleep before grabbing something from my bag.

I work quickly, as it's only a matter of time before he's awake again.

The doctors gave both of us the diagnosis. He might not make it til tomorrow.

Looking at his calm, serene face right now, you'd think he was just taking a nap after work.

I pretend it's all alright and that we're actually just at home. We're waiting for Peggy to come over and pick up Emma so we can go on a date. And Alex, the workaholic that he is, didn't get enough sleep last night and is just catching a few minutes to rest up.

But that's not reality. And I need to accept it.

I feel tears slip down my face as I work quickly.

I plug in the lights, the whole room aglow.

It's not exactly how I imagined it but it'll do.

I pull the ring out of the bag as well, watching it twinkle in the light.

I'm crying feely by now, my shoulders shaking as I sob silently.

I hear him stir and gasp softly.

I turn around to see him sitting up in the bed, looking around in wonder.

He looks at me, the lights reflecting in the tears in his eyes.

I get down on one knee beside the bed, the promise ring in my hand.

The tears in his eyes overflow and rush down his far too skinny cheeks, wetting the hem of the hospital gown.

"I love you... And I forgive you..." I sob quietly, slipping the ring onto his finger.

"Tommy..." He cries, clutching onto my hand.

"From the moment I first saw you- your glittering eyes, your beautiful smile... I knew I was gonna have a future with you..." I cry.

"Tommy, no, please don't cry, please..." He sobs, holding onto my hands tightly.

"Every moment I've spent with you has reminded me that I'm the luckiest man on Earth... Remember senior prom? And our first date? And when you first moved in? And our first days as a family? Remember the wedding and the honeymoon? Because of you my life has been so full of happiness and love."

"Tommy, please, don't say goodbye," he pleads, crying in pain.

"I love you, I love you, I love you..." I repeat softly, crying.

He looks into my eyes, opening his mouth and starting to speak slowly.

"I need not tell you of the pangs I feel... From the idea of quitting you and exposing you to the anguish which I know you would feel... Not could I dwell on the topic lest it unman me..." He cries softly, his grip loosening.

His eyes become unfocused and my heart beats faster.

"Fly to the bosom of your God and be comforted... With my last idea: I will cherish the hope of meeting you in a better world..."

"Alex, no, no, stay with me, please," I beg, falling to my knees and clutching his hands.

"Adieu... Best of husbands and best of men... Embrace my darling Emma for me..." He smiles softly, a vacant look in his eyes.