Chapter Two: The Death Of A Mother, Friend, Sister, Wife
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"Dadda when I see Mamma?" Evangelina asked, clutching her teddy close to her chest.
Sirius looked down at his daughter as he adjusted her bed cover and tried to work out what exactly he was going to say when he didn't know the answer. "Soon, little star, soon" he placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Miss her" she whispered.
"I know, I do too, but remember just because you can't see her it doesn't mean she isn't right here with you, in here" he said placing his hand over her heart "and that's where I always am too" he knew once Marlene got back from her mission the three of them would only have a day or two together before he and Mary would be leaving. "I love you so much Evangelina and so does Mamma, okay?"
"Love you most," the little girl said sleepily cuddling her teddy closer to her chest.
Sirius stayed with Evangelina until she fell asleep, he placed another kiss on the top of her head and then left, quietly closing the door behind him.
The house was extremely quiet with Marlene gone, normally they'd have a record playing on the muggle record player they owed, but without her around Sirius didn't have the heart to put it on, dance parties were a thing the three of them did. When he entered the living room Sirius began to put away Evangelina's toys, she had a lot, being the first child born to the friendship group meant his little girl was incredibly spoiled, she never wanted for anything but that was Sirius's goal anyway, he wouldn't have her grow up like he did. Once everything was put away, he sat at the table, a piece of parchment and a quill and ink in front of him, he only got as far as writing Marlene before a knock on the door sounded.
A vague part of him hoped it was Marlene back early from the mission, but it wasn't her. James and Moddy were there, faces grim, James's tear-stained and without either needing to say it he knew why they were there. Marlene wasn't coming home.
***
The funeral was held only a couple of days later, and everyone who could have come back from their missions the order to attend.
Evangelina stood by her father's side holding onto his hand tightly as her mother was lowered into the ground, she had stopped crying when he first saw the coffin but once James threw a single rose into the ground on top of the coffin the waterworks began again.
Sirius didn't hesitate to pick her up and cradle her close to her chest as she wept, maybe he shouldn't have brought her with him or maybe he should have taken her away from the devastating scene but selfishly he did neither.
Once the precessions were over, most of the mourners left to go back to Sirius's small home for the wake, but it was a blur he couldn't process who left, hell he had barely even processed who was there in the first place.
"I'm sorry," Remus said slowly approaching Sirius, he stood to the left of him, James to the right and Peter next to James. Sirius looked at his old friends and tried to muster a smile but failed miserably.
"She didn't deserve this" Sirius croaked tears forming in his eyes again "She deserved to see Evangelina grow up, to take her shopping for her wand, to see her become an actual person and now, she'll never remember her."
"She has you." Peter offered weakly.
Sirius laughed harshly, he felt Evangelina jolt but when he looked down at her he saw she was still asleep "I'm no good at this, Marlene was the one was knew what she was doing, I could barely even change a nappy when she was first born."
"Sirius, you're not that person anymore, you've learnt from that, you're a good dad," James said.
He looked down at Evangelina, she looked like Marlene when she slept, but he feared as she got older, she would look more like him and his cursed family until there was nothing left of her. He looked at James neither said a word James wrapped his arm around his friend and let him cry, Remus patted him on the back and Peter looked with a guilty expression on his face though none of his friends saw.
Sirius knew what came next, they'd have to find a way to carry on without Marlene and while he would still do his bit for the war Evangelina now be his priority, no more missions where he'd put his life stupidly in danger or acting before thinking he had to be smart because at their very core just the two of them now and he wouldn't let Evangelina grow up an orphan.
