Battlefield (A Lams story)

Chapter 7

Laurens hissed in pain as Hamilton gingerly pressed a damp cloth to his wounds. Laurens watch him, biting his tongue to keep the situation from worsening by his sass. Though, Laurens may have a bit of sass, Hamilton had the sharpest tongue out of anyone he knew. He could divide the world in half with one sentence if he wanted to. Laurens let out a soft chuckle as he relished in all the times he had seen his lover tell people off, let's just say, those people never bothered him again. The moment in his brain was perfect. Hamilton was arguing his point to Laurens, who only started the argument so he could see Hamilton's eyes ignite with fire. And that he got. Hamilton's eyes were burning with passion, he moved his hands to express his point, and he walked around the room, occasionally turning to Laurens to shoot a glare. As much as Laurens wanted to stay in his imagination, he knew he would have to say something sooner or later. He sighed.

"Alexander," Laurens pleaded softly. Not exactly what he wanted to say, but it was a start. Actually, he didn't even know what he wanted to say, he just wanted to make sure Hamilton was listening.

No response.

"Please, I you have to believe me," Laurens begged, taking Hamilton's smaller hand in his own. Surprisingly, Hamilton didn't pull away. That was a start. "I know how bad this looks, but I will tell you when it comes time," Laurens reasoned. Hamilton looked over for a second, but quickly looked back at his work.

"Please just shut up," Hamilton whispered.

"Darling," Laurens started, seeing that Hamilton started to intertwine their fingers. He smiled knowing that Hamilton was a sucker for nicknames. "Can we talk this out? Just for a bit?" he tried.

"Please, there's nothing to talk about," Hamilton whispered, his voice breaking mid-sentence.

"There's so much to talk about. I know you want to talk about this, you just don't know how," Laurens explained, looking down at their hands.

"Shut up," Hamilton warned, shifting his gaze that had slipped to Laurens, back to the ripped cloth.

"I know you're scared-,"

"I am not,"

"It's okay to be scared-,"

"I am not scared,"

"You don't always have to be tough-"

"Shut up,"

"It's okay to be afraid of the answer,"

"Shut up!"

"I know-" Laurens started before sucking in a deep breath of air in pain, screwing is eyes shut. Hamilton had pressed the cloth deep into the hole in his shoulder.

"I said shut up, did I not?" Hamilton asked, shooting a glare that could freeze hell over. Laurens gulped and let out a shaky breath. He went to go squeeze Hamilton's hand before realizing that Hamilton had retracted his hand. Laurens felt a pang of hurt hit his chest, slowly spreading. Hamilton didn't want him anymore. He had screwed up his chances with him. He was alone. Laurens thought, making him start to crumble on the inside. Alone. 

"Please, I can't lose you," Laurens pleaded. Hamilton's gaze softened, realizing what he had done. His soft gaze soon turned into one of shock and fear.

"I-," Hamilton started, his voice being cut out by tears. Laurens panicked seeing Hamilton start to silently sob. He followed Hamilton's gaze to his shoulder. He winced looking at it. Then, it hit him.

"Oh. Oh. No, no, no. It's okay," Laurens rushed out. Even if it was Hamilton's fault, and Hamilton hurt him, he let his kind soul take over. He still loved Hamilton and he would never let that go.

"N-no its not! I-I h-hurt you!" Hamilton exclaimed, pointing at Laurens now bleeding shoulder.

"Baby, its okay," Laurens coaxed, going to hold Hamilton, but wincing when he moved his arm.

"S-see," Hamilton choked out, still refusing to meet Laurens gaze. "I h-hurt you,".

"No baby, yes you did hurt me, but look at me," Laurens cooed, taking his left hand and lifting Hamilton chin. Hamilton still refused to meet Laurens gaze. "Please look at me," Lauren pleaded. Hamilton hesitantly looked at Laurens eyes. They were warm, matching the smile that was held on his face. Hamilton searched his eyes for any kind of anger or intention of yelling. There was none. "See, I'm perfectly okay,".

"Y-you're not mad?" Hamilton asked, making a face as he tried to think of any reason why he wouldn't be mad. Laurens chuckled at the face Hamilton made.

"At first, but you make it so hard to hate you," Laurens started, Hamilton chuckled. Laurens wiped Hamilton's stray tears with his thumb. "I know you hate me, but I still love you. I don't know what goes on in that feisty head of yours, but it drives me crazy,".

Hamilton pulled back after the confession. Laurens frowned.

"I don't know if I can trust you," Hamilton admitted. Laurens tried to reach for Hamilton's hand in reassurance. Hamilton pulled away and looked at Laurens with tears. "Please don't touch me because I know if you do, I'll get addicted all over again. I can't go through that again," Hamilton begged. Laurens let his face falter before he smiled and took Hamilton's hand again.

"Sometimes people need certain drugs to survive," Laurens argued in a gentle way. Hamilton smiled, but let it falter. Laurens took notice. "What's wrong sugar?".

"I don't know if I can trust you after all that's happened," Hamilton explained, moving a strand of hair behind his ear.

"I don't blame you, but maybe are you willing to at least try to give me a second chance? I swear, I will try to earn back your trust," Laurens bargained. Hamilton let a meek smile take over.

"I guess, but just know, we are definitely not starting from where we left off," Hamilton stated. Laurens nodded in agreement. Sure, it hurt knowing he may never be as close to his lover as before, it felt good knowing he could at least be one somewhat good terms with his lover. It felt nice, even if he may have to love from afar.

"I'll tell you when the time comes, just not now," Laurens said. Hamilton looked up at Laurens.

"Promise?" Hamilton asked, searching the other's eye. Laurens smirked and nodded.

"I promise," Laurens said, intertwining both of their pinkies. "I promise," Laurens reassured, for himself or Hamilton, he didn't know.

Laurens felt a small weight put on his left side. He smirked and looked over to see Hamilton staring up at him. Hamilton smiled, to which Laurens smiled back. Laurens watched as Hamilton's eyes fluttered closed. Laurens wrapped his good arm around him. He knew this moment wasn't going to last forever, nor will it always be like this, but he was sure going to relish the moment while it lasted. He kissed Hamilton's forehead. Second chance, he never thought he'd be so glad to hear those words.