Red Rose (Harry Styles Fanfiction a.u)

Chapter 6

I stood there holding for so long, it felt like hours but it was actually only a minute or two. That’s when the questions started coming to mind, why did he leave? What happened?  

I pulled back and let go of him “how?” I mumbled to him, he just looked at me confused. “I thought you were dead Harry, I thought I had lost you and all this time you have been in London “I said sadly looking away from him.

The thought sinking in that he really didn’t care for me if he didn’t contact me saying he was alive, for over a year he was here. He looked hurt “Clary I’m so sorry, I had to leave “he said “I loved you so much and I needed to see you happy and safe. And the only way for that to happen was for me to leave and that’s what I did “he told me.

 I looked at him shocked anger building up in me “I needed you more then you thought Harry, you just disappeared. I couldn’t find you no one could “I snapped at him not caring who heard “I fucking love you isn’t that enough?” I asked him “that’s what you once said to me Harry, isn’t someone granting you their heart enough “I said sadly tears starting to pour.

He just stood there quietly staring at the ground. I shook my head “what happened to the man I fell in love with, what happened to the man I shared all my heart felt stories and secrets with?” I asked him “you’re not him anymore, I don’t know who you are anymore”. He tried grabbing my hand but I yanked it away from him, he sighed “ I did some bad stuff back home and I needed to leave, there was no one there to help me with my problems and if I didn’t leave it would hurt you “ he mumbled. “ what do you mean Harry “. He just shook his head “I can’t tell you “. And that’s all he said to me I had no idea what he had meant by hurting me, what was going to hurt me? But I couldn’t ask that question because he just walked away again. He didn’t even say goodbye, it felt like a replay of what happened over a year ago and I didn’t know how I was going to deal with this again. Knowing he is alive was meant to help, but why does it hurt me then it should. That’s what I prayed for, to see him one last time. I did, but I wish I had more time, I wish I said something hopefully.

I’m sitting in bed crying once again, it hurts worst then the first time. Or maybe it’s because I’m flicking through mine and Harry’s photo album and seen what we once were, how happy we were. We were young, yes we have been nearly dating for a 2 years but for the over year he was missing, so we only have the best memories that I could keep before this happened.

Every time I looked at a new picture of him anger and sadness would build up in me. “   Why?” I yelled throwing a picture of him on the ground from my bed, I was a wreck again, just after I build my life back up he walks in and tears me down. “Fuck you Harry!” I screamed at the pictures that are now scattered through my room “I need you “I broke down, tears cascading down my face. I could breathe it felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart and was tearing it out roughly. My eyes burned from the hot salty tears that keep flowing, never ending. My body felt numb like I had been bruised and battered.

He looked healthy and happy, that should make me happy but why isn’t it? He was still the same looking Harry I first seen walking into my classroom, smiling like nothing could knock him over. He still looked like the Harry that sat on my toilet while I cleaned his broken nose. He still looked like the Harry that had taken my hand and told me how he felt at our secret location. He still looked like the same Harry that kissed me when I needed him most.

I fell in love with a beautiful boy and you still take my breath away, when you left it felt like the end of my world because I never thought to say. I love you more than you think I do. I love you but now you don’t want me too.