perfectly wrong | ethma

ten

emma

i hug my dad one last time before exiting the house.

"thank you for today," i say as i am wrapped up in his arms. "it was much needed."

he rubs my back. "anytime, emma." he says. "even if you can't make the drive up here, i'm just a call away."

i pull away and smile up at him.

"thank you," i say.

the way my dad makes me feel so comforted and relaxed in a simple hug makes me want to never let go.

but, the inevitable comes and i have to let go. i have to go back home and have a chance of running into ethan.

i turn to walk over to my car that was parked on the street. i look back at him.

"i love you," i tell him.

"i love you too. drive safe!" he replies as he waves.

i look at the black screen of my phone. i completely shut it off when i arrived at my dads so i would be able to think clearly. part of me is curious of who messaged me and the other part wants to stay unplugged.

my curious side go the best of me. i turn my phone back on and it immediately has dozens of notifications coming in.

i look through my notifications looking for one name, but it never popped up.

i have no reason to be upset. i'm the one who said we shouldn't see each other anymore. i'm the one who said we needed space. i'm the one who made this happen in the first place.

was this a mistake?

—

"what are you afraid of?" my dad asks as he cooks up some food.

i'm still facing my canvas as i continue to drown it in colors.

"what do you mean?" i ask as i swiftly move my brush back and forth.

he pours coffee into a mug and begins to walk over towards me.

"this ethan situation. why are you so scared to let yourself be happy with him?" he says while handing me the mug.

i take it from his hands and take a deep breath.

"i would be his rebound girl. i'm just his distraction from all the shit happening in his life," i say as i take a sip.

"i don't believe that," he says. "seems like this kid cares about you, em. you should let him care about you."

i shake my head and take another deep breath. i fight back the tears.

"you don't know him," i say as i go back to my painting.

"but, i knew him when you were younger," he tells me. "and that boys first instinct was to protect you from anything that could ever hurt you. i don't see how he could ever lose that instinct,"

my mind flashes of memories of when we were younger. anytime i felt pain, ethan was the first by my side. that didn't even change when we got older, even if we weren't close anymore.

i think of at school when josh pushed ethan into me and then at the party. he always tried to make sure i was okay and that i would come into no harm.

maybe this really was a mistake.

—

i arrive back home and i see ethan's car in my driveway. i pull in and ethan is sitting in his car looking down at his phone.

dozens of emotions explode within me. do i talk to him or do i ignore him and go inside?

before my mind knows what i'm doing, i'm walking towards his car. i knock on his window and he jumps. his eyes are wide and his mouth is the shape of an 'o'.

he rolls down his window with a nervous smile.

"i know it probably looks like i'm stalking," he says.

i fold my arms. "yep,"

"but, i was just leaving." he says. "i did come here to see you because i think i'm going absolutely insane, but your mom told me to leave."

"smart woman," i say with a small smile on my face.

"emma," he says softly as he looks into my eyes. "if space is what you truly want, then i'll give it to you. i never want to hurt you."

my heart flutters as i remember what my dad told me.

when i say nothing, ethan starts up his car.

"your first instinct was to protect me," i shout out.

"what?" he asks as he looks over at me.

"when we were kids," he explain. "anytime i ever got hurt, you were the first one by my side trying to make things better."

he smiles down at the ground.

"we need this break, ethan. okay?" i tell him. "it's not easy, i know. but, we need it."

he shakes his head. "no, you need it. i know exactly what i want."

after a small moment of silence, he speaks up again.

"i want you, emma."