Twice in a Lifetime \\ KELLIC

4

As the days went by I found myself never leaving the house. There wasn't a point to actually going outside. The couch had become my best friend and I stayed glued to it as often as I could. My dressing gown became my only choice of attire. It was the biggest comfort in my life.

I sat up from the couch in the middle of the day. I felt weak. It reminded me of when I had the flu last year and was bed-ridden for two weeks. I didn't feel like eating then either, even though I knew I should have. It wasn't so much that eating was an effort, which it still was, but it was more that I was running out of food and anything else I could have eaten had to be cooked. I didn't feel like doing that.

I felt different today. I had been so content to just lay there and sleep, but today, I sat up and I felt something. I felt bored. I was restless and annoyed with myself, but mostly I was bored, and not knowing what I wanted to do, I stood up and wandered around the house.

I headed upstairs. I had only been up here once and that was to shower before the funeral. I even made Vic came up here to get my suit. I still couldn't go into the bedroom. Even now I stared at door longingly, but I couldn't bring myself to reach out and open it.

Slowly, I made my way down the hall. I got to one of the spare bedrooms. It wasn't the one Ashton and I had painted. It was one that he used to make things in. He had a creative mind and liked to restore things. The room was filled with furniture he was planning on making look nice for the house.

I stepped up to his latest project. It was a simple set of drawers that we found in the basement when we first moved in. They were left over from the previous owners, or possibly even the owners before them. I didn't know a lot about antiques, but this set of drawers looked to be at least a century old.

When we first found it, the drawers were mostly broken and the handles had snapped off, but Ashton fixed everything. It looked as good as new and was almost done, except for needing to be sanded down and have a coat of varnish.

I trailed my fingertips along the bristled wood. My heart sunk. This was one of the many things he was leaving behind. Now, I had no clue what I was going to do with the rest of this stuff. I certainly had no use for it anymore.

I backed out of the room and closed the door. I didn't want to be in there anymore. I had to go to the bathroom. I had been using the downstairs toilet, but since I was here, I headed back down the hall to the bathroom. I turned the doorknob and pushed open the door, but when I did, the entire thing fell off it's hinges and slammed into the wall.

"Dammit," I hissed, "Hey, Ashton-,"

I stopped. The words and air caught in my throat. My body shook. I couldn't believe I just said that. I guess old habits die hard, but for a split second there I really thought Ashton would come out and help me fix it.

I let go of the door and stepped away. I couldn't fix this. I wasn't good at fixing things. I helped the best that I could, but in reality, it was Ashton who did most of the work, and there was so much work to do. The entire house was falling apart. I couldn't handle it. There was no way I could make this place great once again like Ashton wanted to.

I had a thought in mind. I quickly went to the bathroom before going back downstairs and getting the phone. I found Ryan's number on a magnet on the fridge and gave him a call. He was realtor and loved giving out these business magnets.

"Hello, Ryan's Realtors, how can I help?" Ryan spoke into the phone.

"Ryan, hey," I said.

"Kellin?" he asked.

"Yeah, hey, are you able to come over?" I asked.

"I have work, but I can probably come over after, why?" he asked.