My Life As A Proxy (Discontinued)

I Sure Didn't Expect That

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, a lot! I just didn't expect to fuck an almost human Fox that is really a raggedy doll.

"That's one off the bucket list."

Benny: "What is?"

"OhShit! Please don't do that, why are you in my room?"

Benny: "I thought I heard someone screaming... Maybe it wasn't a scream of danger..."

"Fuck off."

Benny: "Who was the lucky gal, Jane?"

"No, you can keep her"

I winked at her and she frowned.

Benny: "Go eat an ass."

I grinned at her

"In your dreams."

She walked out of the room and flipped me off as she left.

I looked at the time, 5:00 A.M. I swear that thing is too fast.

I was so fucking tired and I had no sleep.

On the plus side I fucked a psycho doll.

I just went down stairs and watched some TV. I wonder what day it is, before I got here, it was my birthday soon!

On the TV screen, where there should have been a day of the week and date, there were a bunch of quickly changing scribbles.

That's it, I had to talk to Slenda. I had no fucking idea how time worked here.

I took a wild guess as to where she was and checked the kitchen.

I was right, Slenda was in the kitchen.

"Hey Slenda, how does time work here? I want to know what day it is."

Slenda: "Time is experienced 3x faster unless you have a sudden rush adrenaline, then it is slowed down by x2. You should also know that even though it is faster, a day here is 1 month on Earth. I know what you are thinking, we have birthday celebrations but you don't actually age."

under breath "Then that would mean... Wow. I didn't expect to last that long. I feel bad for Tails.

Slenda: "What?"

"So I will stay the same age, forever?"

Slenda: "No, you will physically grow and learn but your physical body will not change. You will feel like a young man for as long as you stay here."

"Wow. Can I have breakfast please?

What you made yesterday again please, that was delicious.

Oh, but can you add a little caffeine into it? I'm a little drowsy still."

Slenda smiled.

Slenda: "Of course, Y/N."

I waited in the living room and sat at the dining table. Jackie was waiting there.

"Slenda is in the kitchen, if you want breakfast."

She looked at me, but I couldn't tell her expression. The mask was blocking my view.

Jackie: "I know, I'm just not very hungry..."

"Oh ok, you should get what I am having! It's delicious! ...Porridge is vegan, right?"

Jackie laughed a little bit.

Jackie: "Slendas? Not exactly..."

That was unnerving. It was probably just a question that was obvious to vegans.