Requiem [Sirius the Jaeger]

Chapter 7 - Dreams of Demons

"To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in suffering."
~Friedrich Nietzsche

The moonlight shone through the gap between the curtains. Even though it wasn't much, it still sufficed to illuminate the little room. The rays of light danced across the dark wooden floor, letting the darkness seem only a little bit friendlier. The longer I lay there, the more it felt as if the moon was trying to chase away the monsters that lived here. Not under my bed, no. The monsters lived inside my head, raging a never-ending war against none other than myself.

A sad smile made its way onto my lips as I watched the moonlight dance around the room. Although it must be around midnight, I wasn't tired, my eyes preferring to do anything else but rest while my thoughts ran faster than the best athlete. It was one of those nights. When they came, I'd be haunted by the worst nightmares one can imagine: Memories. They'd haunt me until the next morning when the sun chased them away. Until then, I'd be alone with them, trying to survive somehow.

I lay in my bed, my arms lazily draped over my stomach. My hair was messy from my twisting and turning and my eyes still burned from all the crying. They must be red and swollen by now. Again. I'm surprised I had tears left, after all, I cried the whole afternoon. Well, my body surprises me every time.

Sighing, I sat up slowly, pushing the blanket that was dangerously dangling over the edge completely down. I swung my legs over the edge too, my bare feet meeting the cold wooden floor. Shivers ran down my spine and I had goose bumps on my skin as my body tried to adapt to the change in temperature.

Dorothea had brought me some of my clothes when the Jaeger visited us. I decided to wear a simple tank top and some old pants for sleeping. Since the pair of pants was a bit short, it stopped a few centimeters before my ankles.

Finally, I stood up, walking over to the big window and opening the curtains. I also opened the window itself, leaning my head outside. The cool night air hit my face making me shiver slightly. Although it was cold, it refreshed me. I wouldn't sleep tonight anyways, so I could wake up a little as well.

My gaze wandered up to the moon. It shone brightly tonight, letting all the stars seem dim in comparison. Its bright light had always amazed me and I felt drawn towards it. The moon always comforted me, bringing at least some light into the dark night. Just like the stars, it was one of the last candles fighting off the dark void of the night, one last sanctuary.

I remember it shining brightly on that night too. At that time, I felt as if it was guiding me, protecting me from the monsters hunting me until I reached safety. I sighed at the memory, watching the mist that was my breath forming a little white cloud in front of my face. It was gone as fast as it appeared, vanishing into thin air.

And so, I stood there, my face turned to the night sky and my blue eyes staring at the moon up above me.

Nighttime always had a certain peace I couldn't really describe. Maybe it was because of the endless silence. Or maybe because of the ocean of stars shining proudly in the dark sky. Or maybe it was the cool air that let breathing feel so refreshing.

Or maybe it was something completely different. Who knows?

A sudden knock on the door ripped me out of my thoughts. It was so subtle and quiet, I thought I had only imagined it. But it appeared again, just a little more confident than the last time. Who is even awake at this hour?

I made my way over to the door, walking slowly. It was as if I expected a fierce beast lurking behind the door, waiting for its unknowing prey to open entrance. My hand met the cold metal of the doorknob, enveloping it in my flesh. Slowly, I turned it around, the door creaking open as if too add even a more dramatic effect to the situation.