The last time

14: Her

I feel like I can't remember the last time I felt genuinely good like I do right now. We're going to date. Go on dates. Not get married. Not break up. Nothing big. Nothing scary. I'm going to go on a date with the boy I've had an on again off again crush on for six years. I can finally breathe. I don't have to cry. Walking towards our cars we didn't hold hands but we didn't hug our arms tight around our bodies to hold ourselves together anymore either. We were free, at least for the moment, of the gravity of the situation we've been facing. To say goodbye forever or to hold on tight to what we loved and fight our way through the storm.
Instead we'd date. We'd catch up over the phone. See each other once or twice a week. We wouldn't sleep over. I don't even think we'll sleep with each other. We'll hug and kiss and smile and go to dinner or to a pool, on a hike or on a picnic. We'd be what every other couple is in their first month. This was going to be a beautiful fresh beginning and a chance for us to each work to become what we could have been the first time around. Yes, we were in love, and yes, we had a long history at this point. But right now, we'd start over and hopefully we'd fall in love all over again. When we pulled our cars up to turn out of the park and onto the road, going separate directions, we'd caught each other's eyes, smiled, and waved goodbye. Smiling because this goodbye would be a see you later, a talk to you tomorrow, a just for now. Driving away, I found myself thanking God, not just the universe.