It felt nonstop. No matter how happy we were there was something new. Something scary. Something hurtful. Danny had an endless supply of bombs to drop on our shattered relationship and he wasn't letting up any time soon.
I know what I told him the night before. Crying on the floor again. Fuck you. I never want to be with you again. I'll never trust you again. And other awful phrases had poured from my mouth. Anything. Anything I could think of to make him stop talking. To make him stop ruining the man I saw him as in my mind. With every new reveal a new piece of my heart broke. By that point in the night it was well past two am and I had been completely shattered. The shards left in my chest begged me to stop. Told me I loved him. The emptiness he'd created urged me to carry on. To tell him everything that could bring this to an end. The second I stopped to breathe I wanted to will the words back into my head. I wanted to undo every horrible choice I'd made in that short rushed attempt at a feeling of rest. I had brought this onslaught of truth telling on. I told him "I don't want any more surprises. You better tell me now. All of it." If only I'd known then that I would end of being the one with secrets. That wouldn't happen until after Bonnaroo though and this was the week before I left.
Life without Danny, I knew, would not be restful. It would be empty. It would be painful. Life without Danny would be a life where I cried so much that no more tears could fall. It would be a life where the air in every room felt limited.
But wait. Life without Danny meant not being hurt by him ever again. It meant not feeling disappointed. Not wondering what was still to come. Not scared of what would come from his mouth.
YOU ARE READING
The last time
RomanceThis is just another love story that goes wrong, because real love usually does. This time, the story just happens to be true. I thought I'd seen the boy I loved for the last time so many times that when I finally really did, I didn't know what to d...
