Hope Out the Window

Therapy

TW SCHOOL SHOOTING MENTIONED

I sat down in the uncomfortable chair, ready to be questioned. I crossed my right leg over the left and tapped my fingers against my knee to the beat of a song I was working on. I didn't know the name of it yet, but I was working on it.

"What happened to your arm?" Doctor Thomas was sat across from me now.

"Oh, I was in a car accident a few weeks ago."

"Was everyone okay?"

"I was," I grimaced at remembering the scene, "The other guy didn't make it."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is that why you are here today, Tyler?"

"Um no. I- uh," I paused. How can I say this without crying, "There was an incident."

"What kind of incident?"

"Um," my hands shook, my breathing shortened.

"Hey, hey, breath." Doctor Thomas spoke in his calming voice, "You're okay. Whenever you're ready."

"That's the thing though. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk about this." He just smiled at me, "Why are you smiling?"

"Because you are already opening up quicker than any other time I've seen you. You've made so much progress, Tyler. We've all noticed. Don't backtrack, tell me what's wrong."

I thought about it for a second, I had come a long way, I don't want to go back to how things were. "Jay, um, Jays school had a shooting. He-he got killed." I choked out my words. "He was locked in a closet with some of his friends, I think two of them, not including Jay. He got shot trying fight him off while the others ran. He was so scared." A few tears dropped from my face.

"Do you blame yourself at all for this?"

"I think I should've been there. Maybe I could've given better advice. Maybe I could've saved him in some way."

"Tyler, why do you feel like you could've changed what happened?"

"Because he sent texts to me, he was asking me questions, telling me he was scared. He was talking to Zack and Maddie, but he was talking to me too. And I couldn't save him."

"Things like this happen for a reason, Tyler. Did you ever consider those who he saved by trying to take on the gunman? Did you consider those who's lives he impacted. It hurts so bad for you and your family, but think of those who got to see their kid that day because of your brother. Stop thinking of this like Jay was just a victim, start thinking of it like Jay is the hero who stepped up and saved some kids lives." That last sentence hit me like a train.

We talked for a long time, but it flew by, before I knew it, it was time for me to leave. "I'll see you in a few days, same time." Doctor Thomas waved to me as I left his office. I pulled out my phone and saw a text from Jenna saying she wasn't feeling well so Josh was coming to pick me up. I asked her if she was okay then got a text from Josh saying he was here. I walked to the parking lot and looked to see Josh in his black jeep that he had bought not too long ago.

"How was it?" He asked calmly.

"It was helpful." I smiled, genuinely.

"Good." He smiled back, "Jenna has a pretty bad headache, I'm convinced it's a migraine, but she's okay. I just didn't want her driving."

"Thank you."

"No problem. Do you want anything to eat? We can go somewhere or pick something up to eat at home."

"I'm okay. I'll just eat a sandwich or something from the house."

"You sure?"

"Yep."