Hope Out the Window

Names

2:00 a.m.

The clock flashed beside me, mockingly.

"What's wrong, can't sleep?" Lisden asked.

"Yeah, because of you and your friends."

"Our friends." He corrected then quieted down.

"Sure, our friends." I got up from the bed and went into mine and Jenna's bathroom. I looked in the mirror, changing my glance from my own eyes to Jenna's sleeping figure. My eyes wondered down to her baby bump. I smiled, I'm going to be a dad. The statement was still unbelievable.

We still need a name. Something elegant and edgy. I went of the list of words we used to describe her as I poured a medicine cup full of the nasty tasting sleeping medication. I shot it back then tiptoed around the house. I looked in the nursery where all the new furniture sat, still boxed up. I found myself in the studio next. Something unique. I sat down and spun in my chair.

It hit me. Years ago, I started a song for Jenna. I never finished it because Tear In My Heart came along. What was the name of it? I couldn't think of it, it was probably the medicine making me drowsy. I couldn't focus. I stood up and searched the shelves it's in one of these books. I picked up the stack of song books that were falling apart.

The name meant joy, but it was so unique. I looked through song books starting in two thousand fourteen, the year I started Tear In My Heart.

I rubbed my face harshly to keep myself awake. I had to find the name. Two thousand thirteen was quick to follow as I went back in time. I found myself sitting at my desk, hands under my chin supporting my head to keep it from falling. I flipped a page. That's it, there's the name. I stuck my arm on top of the page and let my head hit the table kind of softly, but not soft enough for it to not make a banging noise and for me to remember it hurting just a tad before I let my eyes close.

"Tyler?" Josh shook me awake. Second morning finding me like this, but this time, I was much happier. I sat up and looked at my arm, still holding its place in the book.

"The name!" I jumped up, "I found a name." I smiled widely and ran out of the room.

"A name?" Josh whispered as I ran. I jumped onto the bed next to Jenna who was playing on her phone.

"What?" She giggled.

"I found her name. Well that is if you like it."

"Really?" She sat up a little.

"It's the name of a song I started for you before I started Tear In My Heart. The name means joy, but it's so unique." I rambled.

"Well what is it?" She hit my arm carefully.

"Alaïa." I smiled softly.

"Alaïa." Jenna smiled back and looked at the bump, "Tyler it's perfect."

"Really? You really like it?"

"Oh I love it." She kissed me.

"Little Alaïa." I bent down and kissed Jenna's stomach then watched our princess kick.

"I think she likes her name." Jenna smiled.

"I think she does too, mama. Are we telling Josh?"

"Absolutely"

"Alright. You want breakfast?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little nauseous this morning, morning sickness, that's all. Thank you though."

"No problem."