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💙 L É Z A E K Y A 💙
I ran inside of the apartment my mother and I stayed in, excited to share with her the news I had received along with the prize I got.
"Mama! Mama!"I yelled happily as I jumped in her bed after I kicked my shoes off.
"Im sleeping" she mumbled turning over.
I sighed to myself and left out her room. I went into the little dining area that had a folding table along with some lawn chairs and sat down taking the prize out my backpack.
$50 for being on the A Honor Roll All year With perfect Attendance.
I know forsure I want to buy a new pajama set. I'm growing out of the ones I have now. Oh and I want to take my mama out somewhere nice.
"Kya! Whatchu in there doing!? You too quiet! " my mama exclaimed from her room sounding as if she was up.
"Im in here mama." I said and she soon appeared in my sight.
"Where'd you get that money?" She said walking over to me snatching it out my hands.
"I got it as a prize from school... " I said reaching for it back but she pushed me away causing me to lose my balance, falling straight down.
"Hey that's mine! Give it back!" I said standing up again, only to be pushed down again, but harder.
"Ouch!" I yelled.
"who you raising your voice at little bitch!? "She said getting in my face.
I jerked my head back at her choice of words
" I-..I'm n-not a bitch..." I said.
"I-I ... Shut up. This house better be clean when I get back" she said.
"But I need my money mama" I said but she punched me in the face, causing me to instantly reach for my nose.
"Your money? Was I saying MY money when I had to bust my ass to keep food in ya stomach and clothes on ya back? Was I saying MY money when you wanted ya hair braided or when you wanted new toys or whatever the hell you'd ask for?"She said, now in my face.
"No.." I said looking down.
"Okay then... And like I said, this house better be clean or you head will be detached from your body" she said pushing my head back causing it to hit the wall.
-END OF FLASH BACK-
"Zae" Pops said Tapping me.
I didn't even realise I was crying.
"Whats wrong?" Lauren Asked.
I just excused myself and went up to my room, closing and locking the door.
I try so hard not to let any of the past get to me, but its hard when that all the past memories are filled with abuse.
I was too young to know she was a junkie...
All she cared about was her self but calls me selfish that I don't want to give her money.
I'm not giving her a dime unless its for her funeral.
A child is supposed to grow up happy, not at the age 9 already searching the internet how to die, and finding out about suicide and be down to just do it.
A child shouldn't feel unwanted or unloved.
If I ever have kids, imma make sure they feel wanted...feel loved. And are cared for physically and mentally.
Just cause someone portrays to be happy on the outside, they can be dying on the inside.
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👑E R M I A S A S G H E D O M👑
We all sat at the table waiting for her to come back down but she didn't.
"I'm finna go check on her" I said about to stand up.
"No give her about a minute more, I know she had a memory of her mama... it takes her about 15 mins to get her self together"Lauren said.
I nodded..
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TOMORROW IS THE KING BIRTHDAY💙!
What's the first song you ever heard by Nipsey?
Mine was "Doin' Me " - Trae tha Truth. Nip was featured and I automatically fw his music since.
