kiss my cuts ❥ poetry

restless thoughts.

i wish that i could put my actual thoughts
into literal words
into sentences that make sense,
but i can't.

even my own thoughts are not understandable
i don't even understand them myself
and they're going through my head.

i'm sorry to everyone i hurt along the way
i can't apologize enough
or explain in words
how much i miss you all.

i'll scream loud from rooftops
until my lungs give up
i'll throw myself onto every obstacle course
until my legs give up
i'll do the impossible
until my heart gives up
i'll do anything for this one thing i pray for.
i will do anything to be fucking okay again.

if i yell out for help,
will i ever even be helped?
for if i check myself into a mental asylum,
won't i just turn insane?
if i beg until my dying day,
will i even be given my wish?
no?
why?
because i appear to be normal.
i act normal and am capable everything a regular human is.
so tell me,
what's my problem?

-if i scream i won't be heard