kiss my cuts ❥ poetry

memory of you.

i now don't look at the last time i cried over you as an accomplishment.
because i realize you're still in my mind.
i'm upset with myself,
for letting you take up space in my mental.
as much as i try to convince myself
that i don't want you
that i don't need you
that i don't like you
i come to the realization that i do.
i don't hate you.
i truly, deeply, honestly miss you.
that's why i don't want anything to do with you.
because i know myself well enough to know
that if you willingly come back to me,
i'll let you back into my life.
you know why?
at the end of the day,
when it's pitch black in my room,
when i've got no tears left to cry,
when i'm tired of everything going on,
when i'm at my weakest breaking point.
i realize that the memory of you ends up
walking into my room,
crawling into my bed,
to cuddle me to sleep.

-restless