Played Out

12. Unexpected

**********One Month Later**********

Essence

A month of a whole new world. I didn't realize how unhappy I was until I began to feel happiness again. Every morning I woke up talking to my mom, and I knew she was smiling down on me with how things changed. I was visiting my dad every other weekend, the girls got there second visit too, talking to Mazi or Auntie almost every day, finishing out the semester with Dean's list, and spending just about all my free time with Pharaoh.

Pharaoh was everything I didn't know I needed. My love for him grew every day. Now, I'm not crazy in love or anything like that... but I could definitely see us being in a relationship. I was slowly but surely falling for him. He was always taking me out or just kicking it at the house with me. We even hung out on campus together, which was mostly at the library. And let me not forget, the Sunday dinners with his family and the girls. It was like we couldn't stay away from each other too long before one of us was calling.

I still wasn't ready to be more than friends... or whatever we had become. And sure enough all the happiness was coming to a end since Christmas was coming in a few days. I didn't tell anyone that my nightmares were back. I was trying not to but I was pushing myself away from Pharaoh and not talking to my family. I was trying so hard to stay happy but I couldn't.

I started avoiding Pharaoh on Wednesday but I've been avoiding everyone since yesterday. I woke up from the worst dream I ever had about the incident. I couldn't sleep and I was losing it. Mazi and Auntie Harper got here this morning but I left as soon as they got there. I keep texting everyone so they know I'm okay but I just can't be around people.

The community center I volunteer at was closed but I had a key since they gave me an office. I pulled up and sat in my car trying to decide if I was even going to go inside. I had been riding around for hours so I could just keep driving. As I kept contemplating there was a knock at my window. I look to see Gianni dressed like an eskimo.

I laughed as I turn my car off and grabbed my Walgreens bag of snacks before heading inside with her behind me. I fixed the alarm and text the director so she knew I was here then headed to my office. Gianni stayed quiet while I turned on music and open up us some snacks, but as soon as I sat down she was staring at me upside my head.

"What?" I chuckled

"Bitch don't what me! First you been on some sneaky shit now you MIA on everybody. You auntie calling me trying to figure out what's wrong and I realized I haven't physically seen yo ass in two weeks"

"Gia---"

"Don't Gianni me heifer! Explain! Now!"

"Fine" I sighed "I just been spending a lot of time with Pharaoh and---"

"Lie again!" she threw a skittle at my head

"Ouch trick!"

"I talk to Pharaoh when your auntie first called me! That's a conversation that needs to happen to but he hasn't talk to you since Wednesday and you keep sending him you busy and one word responses"

I sighed out of frustration that these niggas really had a whole meeting about my ass. I shook my head and looked at the ceiling letting out a laugh. I did love my peoples but sometimes they just were too concerned. I finally looked at Gianni who had moved to her popcorn but was still waiting for my explanation.

"Okay, okay, okay" I sighed "I really have been spending time with Pharaoh, but lately.... I just wanted to be by myself"

"What's wrong?"

"My nightmares came back" I shook my head "You know one of the therapist I had said I just needed to make happy memories.... but I've tried. My mom tried for years. She always made Christmas special.... but nothing ever stopped them from coming. I don't like having to talk about it with other people. And these have been worst"