Daya

47| Babe

"That was tiring," Harper says and removes her heels to flop on her bed.

Harper's family holiday party wrapped up and it was filled with rich people laughing and marveling at The Falims Christmas decorations. As usual my family had to act as sophisticated as possible, hell we were more sophisticated and I actually took the liberty of wearing some lipstick along with my black dress. Since my impromptu date with Ziyah really I just wanted to wear his hoodie, but I texted him through the party so that was enough. Since it's winter break I decided to sleepover at Harper's because In all honesty I miss her loud ass.

"Yeah but the food was great," I say and sit besides Harper. Seriously all of the food that none of the other party goers touched could count as my third Christmas.

Harper sits up and looks over at me with a flimsy smile.

"So you said you would tell me about your date?" Right I did say that when we started talking in the party, but some elderly woman needed to pull Harper away.

"It was amazing we were at the grove-" Harper pops up off of my shoulder and gives me the biggest smile.

"Oh my god did he take you shopping and then you guys ate at Laduree!" She claps her hands together. Of course to Harper the Grove is a mall and not an experience like it is for me. Sure I would love to go to the grove and shop at the luxury stores, but I find sitting in the farmer's market eating pistachios is more fun.

"No he didn't we sat in the farmers market and talked." Harper's smile gets smaller.

"That's it?" She scrunches her face up.

"Well no he gave me his hoodie, and we talked a lot and it was just great," a smile comes across my face at the thought and feelings from that night.

"So he's your boyfriend?" The giddiness that was building up in me disappears and confusion replaces it. Harper's eyes are boring into me and my face is burning up, not in the good way like when I'm talking to Ziyah, but in the way when too many thoughts are crowding my mind. All of these thoughts pertaining to the stigma of highschool relationships. "Daya? Are you ok?"

I get up from Harper's bed and start pacing. My heart rate speeds up and my fist are balled. "What's the point of him being my boyfriend if he's going to be a senior next year and then gone, and then in college with college girls. Highschool relationships don't last and we're going to get tired of each other." I'm about to express so much more of the thoughts that have been keeping me from forming relationships with people, but Harper stops my pacing and places her arms on my shoulders.

"Daya it's going to be okay," she says soothingly. Too bad it's not soothing enough to calm me down.

"And what if he has a bunch of beautiful ex girlfriends." Now tears began to stream down my face and Harper brings me into a hug. I cry on her shoulder and I want to stop becuase this is such a dumb reason to cry that makes me cry more and Harper's dress a little damp. A little while ago I was drinking cider out of a champagne glass and before that I was smiling in Ziyah's hoodie, I didn't even know I had these worries in me, and I wasn't expecting to let them out in front of Harper. When I talk to Ziyah all he makes me feel is good, and his words bury my insecurities and bad memories. When I get home and my mom is all sad and stuck in her room the thought that her sadness is because of her failed relationships takes a shovel down into me and brings my insecurities to surface. Knowing that Vince and Vicki have broken up isn't much help either.

My tears don't last long and Harper and I move onto her bed where my heart rate slows down and my head rests on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry for freaking out," I say. Harper turns her head causing me to list mine off her shoulder.