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Unicorn II

LOCAL CRIMINAL KILLED IN WOODS BY RAGING UNICORN
Article by Joan Smith

At 11:13am on Saturday, September 15, 2019, police were in the midst of a manhunt for wanted criminal Jacob Darim, when they revived a call from a local park groundskeeper. The man (who's name has been requested to remain anonymous) told the officers that he found a body on the edge of the woods at the playground.

When they arrived police confirmed that the corpse was that of one Jacob Darim. Forensics arrived soon after and concluded by cause of death to be impalement.

The cause of death, coupled with the trampled bushes and hoof prints, have led officials to believe that while on the run, Darim must have had a run in with a wild unicorn.

There has been a recent surge in unicorns appearing near children's playground nationwide. Experts theorize that this is due to the aura of innocence that a playground represents.

They believe Darim was trying to escape into the woods, but instead startled a unicorn nearby. Due to Darim not only being a full grown male, but also a criminal, instead of merely running away, police say that the unicorn must have felt the need to defend itself when approach by something that goes against its nature.

The county police department has refused to comment on anything further.

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