141 The Last Time

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I was given a second chance,
A redemption arc that isn't guided by pills
Or even by the riddled feelings of my
Own fucked up head that bleeds constantly.

And it bleeds everywhere, on the paper
Like the way brain scatters on the
Pavement after being taken by a gun.
God does it bleed.

And I hate second chances because
It means I have to live longer than
I considered. No. I've wanted to
Be alive for so long that I've made
A point for death to be the one fear I have.

I've made sure that the last time
I breathe, it will be because the
World did not want to give me
​​​​​​​A second chance. 

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