I can't forget your eyes. - Taekook

11. Fighting the silence

TH

When I woke up I wasn't facing the door anymore. I saw another wall in front of me. I also quickly noticed I was lying on my left side. It was not the most comfortable position and I didn't get why I hadn't woken up when the chair was turned. I had no idea what he was going to do with us. I didn't exactly want to find out either. 

Suddenly I started to panic at the silence. What if I was out of it for a long time and during that time something had happened to you?

"Jungkook, are you still here?" It came out even weaker than I expected.

"Yes Tae. Are you okay?" you asked. I wanted to laugh.

"I'm feeling fantastic", I replied and then whispered, "What about you?"

"Never better", you answered. 

Then there was another silence. I hated it. It was suffocating and I could feel it rip my soul apart. I wanted to hear your voice but I couldn't speak, I couldn't let you know how much I needed to hear you. I couldn't see you or touch you but I knew you were there. You being there didn't exactly comfort me. It hurt because you were hurting.

I stared at the white wall.

***

JK

I wanted to break the silence but I didn't know what to say. No words could help us. I felt so hopeless. I had come at his apartment to save you but only ended up getting caught myself. Destiny was such a funny thing. I felt ridiculous having believed in it. The red string of fate binding us together was now wrapped around our throats. 

I wondered if the butterflies were sleeping. Maybe they had flown away. Or maybe they had died from the coldness of the silence that reigned in the room. That place was no flower field. 

When my thought got too depressing, I reminded myself of your smile. The butterflies weren't flying around but they were definitely still there. I missed your face. And your deep, soft voice. So I fought against the silence, forced myself to speak. My words cut through the thick air and my ears started ringing. The silence had been so heavy that even a whisper was too loud.

"I miss you Tae", I simply said. It was all that occupied my mind.

"I miss you so much", I said again. I wanted to highlight the last two words but they came out weaker than I had intended.

"I miss you too Jungkook", you whispered. 

"You have been calling me by my name many times. I liked to hear you call me Kookie and other nicknames",  I said as I just realized that was true. The whole time we had been there you had only called me Jungkook.

"Ah I... didn't notice."

You were lying. You loved using nicknames.

"Why are you doing it? I know there is a reason." 

"I guess I... feel like I don't deserve to call you those things anymore", you said quietly. I could barely make out what you were saying. My heart physically hurt when I understood what you had said.

"Of course you deserve it. We're still together right? We still love each other don't we?" I know I sounded desperate. I was desperate.

"It's my fault you're here. How can you still love me?" I heard you crying. My eyes weren't that dry either. I had already let few tears slide down my cheeks.

"Nothing is your fault. I was being stupid coming here without contacting the police anyway", I said. I wish I could have held you close but I couldn't even touch you. I couldn't see your face, I couldn't see your eyes. The most beautiful eyes.

"I don't know what to do yet but I will figure something out. I already promised you before, we're getting out of here", I tried to give both of us some ray of light.

***