Online | Ereri (Incomplete, Funny Version)

Chapter 13

It was so easy.

All I had to do was show Sasha a few nice apartments in California, and off we went. But, now that I'm here, it'll be a bit harder than I thought.

Eren shouldn't be too difficult. Ass I recall, he has a few anger issues. In the past, he's let anger cloud his mind, and that shall be his downfall.

But before I can get to Eren, I have to get past his friends.

Armin is one of the most intelligent people we've encountered. His IQ rivals Einstein's. It won't be hard to beat him up, but it'll be increasingly difficult to manipulate him.

Levi Ackerman is famous where I come from. Strong, smart, and short tempered. It'll be easy to light his fuse, and it'll be fun to watch him crash and burn. 

Erwin's a very smart man. He's rich, famous, and has high standards. I've known him for a while, actually, he's helped me out a few times. It's a shame, really.

Hanji Zoe, a scientist. She's got fantastic deductive skills, and can be very impulsive. Haven't met her in person till' now, but I've heard quite a few stories about her.

Why, you ask? Ha, that's classified information.

I opened my eyes, sat up, and looked around. The lights were dimmed, and everyone was laying on the floor, as if they were dead. I chuckled. What a lovely thought.

Deeming this a good time to check in, I walked down the hall and entered a seemingly empty bedroom. Shutting the door and locking it, I pulled out my iPhone and pressed the home button six quick times.

'Calling HQ....'

"Hello?" A young lady's face popped up on the screen. I smiled, and tilted my head.

"Hey, Cloe," I said quietly, "put me through to Freckles."

"On it."

The screen went black for a moment, and a shirtless Marco popped up on my screen. I shielded my eyes.

"God damnit, Marco!"

"Jesus, sorry," he yawned, looking at the clock. "It's five a.m., you couldn't wait?"

"I wouldn't have had a chance during the day, Marco," I replied, rolling my eyes, "these people are lively!"

"Sure they are."

"This is gonna be harder than I thought."

"I told you it would."

"Well, you know what? I'm the one who got chosen for this mission, not you! So, ha."

"Touche." 

"And you know something else? A lot of them have taken liking's to each other, even Kaniss! Juicy, right!"

"Aww, man! Now I kinda' wish I was there. It'll be a blast, and I can't even enjoy it! Those missions are rare."

"Come down and hang! I could use the extra hand."

"You sure it wouldn't blow your cover?"

"Nah, besides, they know Jean personally, don't they?"

"Yeah, but Eren doesn't like Jean!"

"Arlert does! Come on, please?"

He sighed. "Ah, fine. But you'd better split the profit with me."

"Deal."

"Alright, Jean's gonna wake up soon, I'd better go back to sleep."

"'Kay, bye, Freckles!"

"Don't call me-"

"Bye~" I cut him off and hung up. Chuckling, I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Sh-Shiloh?"

I froze, and rested a hand on the lock button of my phone. Three presses. Code red. "Who's there?"

There was creaking, and I nearly gasped. Someone was in the bed.

They heard everything.

"Don't move." I said, turning my head to the side a bit.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and my eyes widened. On instinct, I turned around and brought three fingers towards their neck. In the blur of my surroundings, I saw a mop of blonde hair. 

Oh, sweet Jesus.

I brung my arm to a hault less than an inch away from Armin's neck. His bright blue eyes were wide and shimmering in the darkness. I narrowed my brown ones and grabbed the collar of his polo. 

"How much did you hear?" I hissed. He yelped.

"I-I-I-" I jerked his collar and he started yelling nonsense.

"You don't understand, Corporal! Sina's been breached and all my friends are dying and Eren's exhausted and Ymir's-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I yelled shaking him. He squeezed his eyes shut. 

"I heard everything. I'm-I'm sorry, okay?!"

"You must understand that now that you know, I have to kill you."

"Ar-ar-aren't you Sasha's cousin?"

"Ha, yeah, but she's only as smart as the shit she eats."

"I-I'll do anything!"

"Anything?"

"Yeah!"

"Fine, if you tell anyone, and I mean anyone, I'll end you." I made the 'I'm watching you' sign with my fingers, let go of his shirt, and left, pulling my suspender straps off of my shoulders that they they hung by my knees. Pulling my phone back out, I opened iMessage and texted Marco.

'2, 18, 5, 1, 3, 8, 5, 4. 1, 18, 12, 5, 18, 20.'

'Breached. Arlert.'

I smirked. Ah, what a cruel world it is.