No One But You

13

''So what's going on here, hmm?'' Roger asked, slowly walking closer to us. I quickly made sure to go as far from the drummer as I could, simultaneously backing away from Freddie. I could feel my heartbeat increasing, and I was starting to break out into a nervous sweat. I hated that this was how I now reacted to the man who used to be such a close friend to me. I didn't want to be scared of him, but with the way he was looking at me, it was impossible. 

His stare was filled with anger and all I wanted was to crawl into a small ball and hide from him. Instead, I watched helplessly as Roger dismissed the singer with a nod towards the door. Freddie's face expression showed pure panic, yet he still left, leaving me alone with someone who seemed to hate me from the bottom of their heart.

Roger clearly wasn't here to waste time because as soon as the door closed, he angrily approached me and painfully grabbed the collar of my shirt and started speaking.

''Listen here, John. Freddie is mine. MINE! Do you understand? Mine, not yours, and not anyone else's, so back the fuck off! I swear if I see you touching him one more time-''

''Yes, okay, I understand. Freddie and I are just friends, Rog.'' I interrupted his threats, sounding way more confident than I felt. In reality, I was terrified. The bruise on my upper arm had not healed enough to forget how it appeared-not that I'd be forgetting that anytime soon. The least I could do right now was say what he wanted to hear, not wanting to be the victim of anymore damage-both physical and mental.

''Good. You're with Brian now aren't you?'' he asked in a calmer tone. 

''I- I am, yes. How did you-''

''Saw you two holding hands. It's, uh, I'm happy for you two. Look, the thing is that I know you liked, or still like, Fred, but I've liked him for much longer than you have. So just leave him alone, okay? You're with Brian, so, so focus on that,'' he said. His hand had retreated from my body and I felt like I could breathe properly again. My heart was still hammering against my ribcage, but at least my hands had stopped shaking. I could tell that the drummer had calmed down since bursting into the room, but you never know with him. One wrong word could set him off and usually if I noticed he was like that I'd keep quiet. But he was literally banning me from speaking to one of my best friends and I just had to speak up.

''But Rog-''

''No! John, please. I've been waiting for a chance for ages! I know you like him and I've seen the way Fred looks at you, but you have a boyfriend, so you shouldn't care!'' He almost shouted. His eyes were angry, but his voice was clearly filling with panic. Did he really think Fred liked me? He couldn't, he pushed me away that night at the club.

I've seen the way he looks at you

What on Earth did he mean by that? Freddie liked me? What? No, Rog was just making it up. But why? To see how I'd react? To learn whether I still had feelings for him or not? Did it even matter? The answer was a clear no. I was with Brian. Gorgeous, caring Brian, who actually seemed to like me. So Freddie's feelings towards me (that is, if they even existed) shouldn't concern me. I was done with him. No more pining over it and daydreaming about the frontman. I was in a relationship now-past crushes should be staying in the past. But if a past crush also happened to be a close friend, leaving our friendship in the past wasn't something that would feel very pleasant. 

''Roger, Freddie is my friend. You can't force me to completely break off contact with him,'' I said, suddenly not as nervous as before. I was determined to keep this friendship intact, whether the blond liked it or not. '

''Listen, I don't know what you think, but Freddie and I don't have anything going on. All that happened was t-that he rejected me, so there aren't any romantic feelings between us. He's all yours.''

''Really?'' He sounded like he actually believed we were dating or something.

''Yes, Rog. Really.''

''Oh, okay. I'm, uh, sorry for how I acted towards you, by the way. It's all just so- so frustrating. The feeling of not being wanted by someone who means so much to me. But I'm sure you know all about that.'' He laughed nervously, glancing at me for a brief second, before averting his gaze. 

As he spoke, it was like someone was peeling the anger off of his face piece by piece, leaving behind and expression of helplessness and despair-emotions I had become pretty familiar with over the course of the past few years. At that moment, I didn't care that I was scared of the man standing in front of me, all I wanted was to comfort him. Because I knew exactly what he was going through-we were both just desperate for a chance with the same man. We just showed it in different ways. As in, my emotions had made me insecure, which resulted in me crawling back into my shell and crying myself to sleep most nights. Roger, on the other hand, expressed his longing through anger and jealousy. 

I carefully placed a hand on his shoulder, cautious of a possible outburst from the drummer. Surprisingly, Roger let my hand stay there.

''Rog, I know exactly how you feel. I've been there. I know how frustrated and upset a crush can make you,'' I said softly, wanting him to know that he wasn't alone and that I understood what he was going through.

''It-it's just so unfair! He-he goes and dates people who don't give a fuck about who he really is on the inside. People that only see the flamboyant side of him. It's so hard to watch him get his heart broken time and time again, knowing that I'd treat him so much better than all those idiots. But he'll never see me as something more than a friend.'' Roger let out an angry sigh and when he glanced at me again, I was almost certain that there was a faint glisten of tears in his eyes.

''I know. Believ me, I know. But you've got to remember that thee's other people out there, okay? I know it may feel like you'll never be able to really commit to anyone else, but it's not true. You know, if he can't see how great you are, he doesn't deserve you.'' I had no idea where all of this was coming from, I guess I just wanted to do everything in my power to make him feel better.

''Thanks, Deaky,'' he said softly, finally looking up at me for a longer period of time. My suspicions had been right-a few tears were threatening to spill from his eyes, but there was a small smile pulling at his lips, meaning that I had succeeded. 

''No problem, Rog. It's what friends are for, after all.'' The older man seemed to flinch slightly at the word 'friends', and for a second I was worried that he thought our friendship was over for good.

''Friends?'' He asked doubtfully, making my heart sink.

''I-I mean if...if you want us to be?'' I stammered nervously.

''I'd love that, Deaks,'' he said, before pulling me into a warm hug. At that moment I knew, I had my best friend back. And I couldn't be happier. 
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sorry this took so long ugh
~S