Anything For You

Part 28

Jenna's thoughts

"I'm lost and I'm tired Sofia." words that I never thought I would say. I have always been so strong and I can work through any problem or situation but I really don't feel like fighting anymore.

"I constantly feel my energy draining out of me, as if I'm draining my storage of electricity and passing it onto everyone else to keep them going." Now that I'm speaking to Sofia I feel a sense relief.

"Jenna, everyone has emotional scars and tipping points, you on the other hand, you bleed because your heart is strong. But, you need Michael just as much as he needs you. The bond of love that you and Michael now share will make both of you as good as new. You will still be strong and independent but this time round, you are not alone. Trust his love for you and take that love with both hands. Share your fears and your heart with him and I can promise you baby, he will do the same." I know that she's right.

Sofia reminds me so much of my grandmother; she always understood the significance of my feelings and she never belittled the intensity of them. Everyone needs a Sofia in their lives, a never decreasing fountain of love with a lifetime of experience. A love that has found its way to me and here I am, like a fool, contemplating if I need it or not.

"Sweetheart, going through life with an undeveloped soul is a sure form of death. Is that what you want for the rest of your life?" She adds and it is like a ton of bricks hit my chest, pinning me to the floor.

"No that is not what I want anymore. I want to be taken care of for a change and not the other way around." I can't believe I just said that. I feel selfish saying this but I push that nagging bitch into the deepest darkest pit in my subconscious. Fuck her and her Wonder Woman attitude.

"Then I suggest you go inside and make that clear to everyone. Don't be afraid, okay baby." Sofia stands up and holds her hand out to me and I grab that love with everything that I have. She pulls me into her arms and gives me the best bear hug I have ever had in my life. Michael has no idea how lucky he is.

"Okay" I feel the tears hovering so I blink them away quickly before we go inside. I am a strong independent woman who is asking for help. It sounds right and wrong at the same time.

We go back inside and I am amused at the sight before me. The table has been cleared and the dishes have been done and even better, Michael is drying off the dishes and handing them to Devon. I wish I had his camera with me.

"Erm, hi" I stutter. Everyone in the room turns to me and it feels like I'm under a microscope but that feeling soon disappears when I see Michael drop the dish into the soapy water, making his way to me.

"Are you okay?" he asks. I see the sadness on his face and it makes me feel bad because I know that I did that.

"Yes. Can we talk, I mean all of us?" I ask gesturing to everyone in the room.

Devon has already moved to a chair before I finished my sentence. He looks ready for action. The rest of Michael's brothers take a seat as well and I'm not sure what to make of this. This family is either all for one or nothing at all which is so different to the way I grew up. It's amazing.

I pull up a chair as well and make myself comfortable, when I look over at Sofia; she nods as if to say 'go ahead', so I start off slowly.

I tell them how I met Ricky, a more detailed version than what I told Michael and what he told his family earlier. I mention Ricky's introduction to Candice and the events that followed. I tell them about prison and that he was paroled days ago and that he won't be coming after Candice. He will be coming after me. I was his obsession.

When I look over at Michael, his eyebrows are knitted together and he looks pissed off. He is still holding my hand under the table but whenever I mention Ricky's name, he squeezes my hand lightly.

"This guy sounds like a real treat." Linus says sarcastically.

"There's more." I say before anyone does. I don't want to look at Michael because in the corner of my eye I can see that he turned his head to look at me. He squeezes my hand but I break free from his hold and stand up.

"A few days ago when Michael and I were at the grocery store, I am pretty sure that he was there. I didn't see him but I could feel him there."

"That's why we left so abruptly isn't it." Shit! Michael sounds angrier.

"Yes" I keep my voice low.

"Okay, so what now?" Devon's booming voice makes me jump.

"I don't know."

"I'll take over from here Jenna. Sit down." Linus is amazing.

I listen and stay quiet as Linus, Michael and their brothers discuss the security at the house. The way they all give their input and the lengths that they will be going to, to secure my future with Michael. I feel like I should be crying but there is nothing.

One thing I know for certain, I am in love with Michael. My mind is constantly clouded by thoughts of him; mentally and physically, he is always there. He has given me stability from the chaos and I need him so much, desperately need him in my life. I love him so much more for that.

The feeling is bizarre; it sweeps through my entire body. It is immense and yet I feel so complete. My love for him holds no bounds, no length nor depth, my love for him just so absolute. He has given me peace and he has filled the hole in my chest that I never, until this moment, was aware was there. I don't feel the constant constriction on my heart as if there was no oxygen to my lungs, all I feel now is complete.

If someone told me two months ago that I would meet a man that would change the very fabric of my reality, I would have thrown up on them. Yet here I stand, completely infatuated with Michael wondering how I was able to live without him all these years.

As cheesy as this sounds, the truth is that I do love him more than I love myself, he is my anchor that has given me the stability in my world I have called chaos.

An hour or two later, with his arm draped around her neck, Jenna and Michael bid all the Delport's a good evening and leave to find a hotel in the city for the evening. The house was obviously a no go tonight.

"Michael, I have to tell you something but you have to promise that you won't get mad at me."

"Oh good lord what now?"

"I have an apartment near campus."

"Dammit Jenna, are you kidding me right now? We talked about this, you can't just keep things from me anymore. When did you get this apartment?"

"A week or so ago. I was going to tell you but I just never found the right moment." Jenna replies starting out of the window. Her voice calm.

"Fine, where is it?" Michael fuming as he drives in the direction of the university.