Intelligent Peter Parker
A Short Story
by Uhh I'm awkward hi
Peter Parker looked at the minuscule rock in his hands and felt confident.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his idyllic surroundings. He had always loved creepy Oxford with its worried, wet waters. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel confident.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Michelle Jones. Michelle was a stupid deity with vast arms and handsome abs.
Peter gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an intelligent, splendid, whiskey drinker with blonde arms and charming abs. His friends saw him as a leaking, light lover. Once, he had even helped a blue-eyed old man recover from a flying accident.
But not even an intelligent person who had once helped a blue-eyed old man recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Michelle had in store today.
The sleet rained like bouncing goldfish, making Peter sneezy.
As Peter stepped outside and Michelle came closer, he could see the magnificent glint in her eye.
"I am here because I want a pencil," Michelle bellowed, in a delightful tone. She slammed her fist against Peter's chest, with the force of 2509 rabbits. "I frigging hate you, Peter Parker."
Peter looked back, even more sneezy and still fingering the minuscule rock. "Michelle, you must think I was born yesterday," he replied.
They looked at each other with puzzled feelings, like two mushy, mutated monkeys jumping at a very ruthless disco, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two hilarious uncles chatting to the beat.
Peter studied Michelle's vast arms and handsome abs. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you a pencil," he explained, in pitying tones.
Michelle looked worried, her body raw like a slimy, smoggy sandwich.
Peter could actually hear Michelle's body shatter into 3799 pieces. Then the stupid deity hurried away into the distance.
Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Peter's nerves tonight.
THE END
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Spider-Man-One-Shots (School, Trips, Irondad, Angst)
FanfictionBunch of One-Shots not in order. I take requests. School trips, Depression, SpideyChelle, Civil War, Rogues. No Starker or smut plz I hate those.
