ecstasy // willne x imallexx au

xl

will - 6th october 2018

"you guys disgust me," i heard george say: i was giving alex a quick kiss as he set up his camera to record the collab we were doing for his youtube channel. it had blown up lately, him having just surpassed 2 million subscribers.

"also, forgot to mention this at the club the other night, could you tell alex to keep the noises down at night," he directed towards me. "the floors and ceilings aren't completely soundproof and i'd prefer not to hear my mates fucking." alex and i stiffened at the mention of the club, however alex's mouth dropped open, red instantly tinting his cheeks. i almost cackled with laughter.

"i'm being fucking serious!"

"and i'm leaving." alex pretended to start getting up, and i pulled him over onto my lap.

"i think i'm gonna need to sit inbetween you to stop you from fucking on my chair." george tied his signature bandana around his face and placed his dark glasses over his eyes. alex and i suppressed laughs, as we always did when we saw him in his stupid costume.

alex left my lap and sat in the chair next to me, george next to him. he introduced the video we were doing, which was on a website for furry dating.

"here i have my two gayest friends, and honestly my two friends who are most likely to become furries," george stated.

"not me, alex maybe," i butted in. "i can definitely see him being a cat in another life."

"right, well, the other day i signed them both up to furry dating dot com, and we're going to see who got the most matches."

"definitely gonna be me," alex piped up.

"because everyone loves a twink furry," i said, trying to hide my smile.

"you're a fucking dickhead. like, actually." alex punched my thigh.

"oi! this is a family friendly pg clean channel. enough of the foul language," george joked. "nah but seriously, my editors gonna start asking to be paid more with the amount of censors he's gonna need to put in."

-

"will, we can't ignore what happened on saturday night."

after recording with george, alex and i had come back down to our flat and ordered a chinese takeaway, then sat bundled up on the sofa watching glee. we were already onto season two.

when alex had spoken, his head was resting in my lap. a few minutes ago he'd been humming along to a song the warblers were singing, letting me play with his hair which had grown completely unruly lately.

"yes, we can ignore it."

"we need to fucking talk about it will! she harassed you."

"it wasn't harassment. there's not much to talk about, alex. she fucked off when you showed up, and she won't come back. and she didn't do anything to me, i'm fine," i reassured him. i'm not sure if i entirely reassured myself, but that didn't matter.

"she kissed you will."

"it was on the neck, and i pushed her off."

"i could tell you were scared."

"wasn't fuckin' scared, al," i said through gritted teeth, a warning tone clear in my voice. he wasn't doing this right now, surely not. i wasn't in the mood.

i heard a frustrated sigh come from below me, his hot breath creeping onto my hands. "for fuck's sake, will. you were not ok."

"i was! fuckin'ell, i was! can you leave it? please?" even then, the conviction in my voice was starting to fail me. i wasn't sure if i believed it anymore.

"will, i..." alex rolled over to face me, and i could see him racking his brain for something to say that wouldn't anger me. it was always that look in his eyes, though, that did it for me. and i know it was vice versa. if we had that look in our eyes, we knew the other couldn't help but be honest. find release in any pent up emotions they felt. it was that look of safety.

"fuck, alex. fuck. fuck! i hate her. i hate her so fucking much, it's unbelievable. every memory of her that i... repressed, i managed to keep them at bay for so long. and then seeing her, it brought them all back and i was under her control again. i was numb to all feeling. i'm sorry i left you when you were in such a state, i swear i just meant to get water. suddenly she was just there in front of me, and i think she pulled me outside to where you found us and... fuck. i was scared. i was so fucking scared. she had all this power over me again, like she could do all that she wanted to me and i couldn't fight her off. if you hadn't come outside, i-i don't know what would've happened."

i held him tight, so tight that i was worried of crushing him. what i was more worried of was her sweeping in again, and prising him from my grip and this time, this time, she would really have me caught. i clung to him like my life depended on it, which in many ways it did.

"i can't deal with her again, alex. if i ever see her again..."

"will, you need help."

"no i—yeah. i do."

within the next ten minutes, alex had called up his old counsellor and booked an appointment for me for in a week's time. it was just one session, it wouldn't become permanent, that's what alex said.

he held me in bed that night, as i let myself succumb to being the little spoon.

"fuck that bitch," he whispered in my ear. i chuckled.

"yeah, fuck that bitch."

***

a/n: OI read my book she's creeping because it's good and i want more people reading it, thanks for 1k reads on it as well !

btw i know the furry trend is dead but allow it this is set in 2018 and i've had this in my drafts for so long bc i was writing this in december 2018 and i didn't want to waste it lol x