Romanogers Part 2💗

Chapter 12: Over

*Steve's point of view*

I hated myself. I can't believe I actually said that I didn't know whether I loved Natasha Romanoff. Of course I love her! Who wouldn't?! She's so unique and beautiful! If I'm honest, I'm not sure why I'm with Sharon. Sharon is nice and when I thought that Natasha was dead, she stood by me. But she could never replace Natasha. Natasha Romanoff is my one and only. I can't stress enough that I feel like a player and a fool. I can't stress enough how much I love her. Every single thing about her. But I blew it. It's my fault.

We sat in silence in the room after not  saying a word to eachother after our argument earlier. I could tell she was uncomfortable. She had her head against the wall with her eyes shut. Every so often, a tear stained her bruised cheek. I have never ever seen her in this much pain. Even after what Bruce did to her, she did not look as bad as she does now. It was awful, she not only looked battered and bruised on the outside but, even though she would not let me in, I knew she was in greater pain on the inside.

"Natasha?" I asked.
"What?" She replied, annoyed.
"Who is Natalia?" I asked, trying to make us at least Civil. She huffed and took a deep breath.
"I am." She said, still staring at the wall.
"But I though you were-"
"Natasha is my real name. My Russian name is Natalia. I was born Natalia but changed it when I came to America. My birth name is Natalia Alianovna Romanova." She said, she seemed tired. She was fed up. I can relate.
"Oh okay." We stayed quite for a short while until I worked up the courage to speak again.

"Nat, I'm sorry." I said, she turned her body to face me. I couldn't quite make out whether she was angry or tired of arguing. "I honestly don't know why I said I don't know if I love you. I do love you." She rolled her eyes and turned back around to the wall. "What did I say now?" I raised my voice a little.
"Nothing. Don't worry." She huffed.
"No, come on. Tell me what I've done!" I yelled.
"I'm fine!" She yelled back. She clearly wasn't.
"You and I both know you've got something on your mind. What is it?" I lowered the tone of my voice to try and sound more welcoming.
"Why do you care?!" She spat back. She turned around and had an angry expression across her face.
"Why do you think?! You know how feel about you!"
"Do I?" She said, Sarcastically.
"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me anyway."
"Well, you haven't exactly proved to me that I can trust you so anything you say could be a lie."
"That's cold."
"Well. I just feel SO bad now." She said, sarcastically.
"Well, you left me! You left me standing in a departure lounge, alone. I sat there for an hour, crying. Do You know how that feels?"
"Yes! I know exactly how that feels! I spent the entire plane ride crying! I went to my hotel, crying! Everything I did made me think of you!" She yelled. Tears started to fill her eyes. "But you still don't realise that I did it all for YOU. I just wanted to protect you from Bruce!"
"Look, how that turned out Nat!" I immediately regretted what I said. "Nat, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" I started but she didn't even acknowledge me. She sat in silence for a few seconds before she spoke again.
"You know I sat in my cell every night and stared out the window. I stared at the moon and thought of you. I spoke to you! I must've looked like such a weirdo! I'd tell you that you should move on, be with someone else, don't wait for me because no matter how much I wanted to, I may never return.  I'd tell you how much you mean to me, How much you've always meant to me. But that day, 4 months ago, when I found out these people wanted you, I broke inside. I tried to escape but I was drugged before I could start running. I'd contemplate if you were even alive! I hoped that you were. Thankfully, now I know you were. Everyday I just wished that my time here would be over soon, whether it was rescue or death. If I died, it would've been easier for you because you could put the fact that I was definitely dead and my body was there to prove it, then you'd move on." She said, tears streamed down her face. Her cheeks were bright red and she was constantly biting her nails, probably from Anxiety. "But after the other day, after you told me that you had moved on, I just broke. I know I said I hoped you've moved on but I didn't realise you would, I thought you'd wait a while and search for at least my body until I was found. Then you told me you didn't know if you loved me, I felt my soul leave my body. I thought, and I still do, that the 5 months we spent together were a lie. It was the best months of my life but now I realise that you clearly don't feel the same." I was crying as well, tears had stained both of our cheeks. These tears stung. They would stay with me forever. I knew they would her as well. I wanted to tell her she was wrong but I know she would back away further from me. "So I'm going to tell you this and while I say this, I want you to know that it is killing me to tell you this. Whatever it is between you and me, love or just a fling, it's over now. Maybe in time we can be friends, maybe we can get back to how we were. But right now, I can't trust you. I can barely look at you without tearing up. If you really do love me, just give me some space. Please give me reason to come back to you. Please help me trust you again. I will always love you. I promise." Tears were falling from my eyes so quickly, I couldn't even stop them. This was it. It was over.

End of Over