Romanogers Part 2💗

Chapter 17: Force-field

*Steve's point of view*
*1 year later*

It's been quite a long time since I had that 'I'm sorry' speech. A year? Really?! To be honest, it feels longer than a year. It has been ages. My relationship with Tony, Clint and Wanda has improved a lot! Tony no longer wants to kill me and Clint has stopped wanting to slit my throat. Wanda still stands by the fact that she will tear me in half if I do anything that may hurt Nat in anyway. I think I'm friends with them now but I can't be too sure. It's still so awkward between us, especially when I'm alone with one of them. They'd ask how I'm doing, of course they didn't actually care. They would also ask about my relationship with Nat now.

Me and Nat are on good terms now. She seems happy but not as happy as she could be. She spent the first 3 weeks recovering from what happened to her in those 4 months. When Nat returned back to work, she had quite a few scars on her face that I could see but she made sure she hid them as much as possible, that's probably why she wore long sleeved tshirts and leggings in the summer. The first few weeks were seriously awkward between us, especially from the amount of work we were set to work together. We mostly stayed quiet but we did try to make conversation. I would ask her how she has been and she would reply saying that she's getting better. After that, things began to gradually pick up and us talking was becoming more and more common. Now, we talk and laugh everyday. We try not to mention that we still loved eachother and we both tried to act like we were never even together because we were both scared of making things between us even more awkward, and possibly ending whatever relationship we had at that point. We work missions together and she got back to kicking ass rather quickly. We try not to be seen laughing and chatting because we know that people will either say that we shouldn't even be friends or that we should already be together.

Emotionally speaking, she looked and still looks broken but she does look better everytime I see her. I've been trying to make it up to her but I'm not sure I'm supposed to do it. Natasha is a very complicated woman and she doesn't like things that a stereotypical woman would like. She'd rather where trainers than heels and she'd happily have a beer on the couch watching football when most ladies would want to go to a fancy dinner and have a glass of red wine. I feel like I'm not trying hard enough but I think this is the best I can do. I can't wait for her to hopefully say she can forgive me. I will wait for however long she needs, even if that's forever.

*Natasha's point of view*

It's been a rough year. I got over injuries within 3 weeks of being back at Avengers Tower. I still experience pain now and then but I try my best to hide it from everyone. Clint has been the most caring person ever! He let me stay with him for however long I wanted. I stayed for about 3 and a half weeks in total because he wouldn't let me go until I was fully physically recovered.  Mentally, I was still broken but I just hoped it would get better. Wanda and Tony have also been checking up on me frequently which got quite annoying after 3 months. I accidentally shouted at them. I wanted my authority back. I wanted to be in power again. I wanted to go back to how it was before I left, everyone was quite scared of me and it made me laugh. I didn't want people to be scared of me, I just don't want them to pity me because of what's happened.

Now, everyone knows that I'm better. I can be me. I can be friendly and caring but I can also be stern and people would immediately agree with my decisions. Most of the boys were scared of me though, even Steve, they looked like lost puppies when I yelled at them for not letting me go on a mission. I was fine on my missions, apart from a few flashbacks and the fact that I'm constantly alert, I was back to being my usual self. Wanda thinks I'm suffering from PTSD but I think I'm fine. She recommended a therapist and I didn't go to him because I feel like telling a stranger about my life and my feelings will end in them telling the world that the emotionless Black Widow has emotions.

Me and Steve were on better terms as well. We laughed and joked loads after we got over a period of awkwardness. He hasn't gone out with anyone, even when Thor tried to set him up with a girl from accounting. He was making an effort to show that he will wait. He avoided any girl and told them he'd rather be alone. I'd go over to him and ask who she was and he would reply "No one I care about." We both really wanted to be together but there was a force-field between us, I felt it there but I'm not sure he did. He didn't want to make a move on me just in case I wasn't ready. He would slip into conversation that he was waiting for the right girl or that he loves someone else, someone meaning me. He wanted to prove himself worthy of my trust. I always see that force-field, even when we are just talking like friends. I would flirt with him just to make sure he knew I was still into him, and he would always return the favour.

I just want to break down the force-field, but will I ever be able to?

End of Force-Field