Incoherent Thoughts Organized Into Neat Paragraphs

Reputation

They told me you were big and terrifying
I imagined you strict with a list of rules and requirements
And if I didn't make every check you would turn me away.
They told me you had a limit on forgiveness so I best not mess up too many times.
I can never be sure when your grace will run out.

Be perfect
Or at least
Act perfect
One mistake and you're out.

They screamed endlessly in senseless sentences that I didnt understand but didn't stop me from saying
Amen.

They sent people away at the gate
For meaningless things.
They probably wouldn't have even let you in.
Wouldve saw the holes in your hands and took their invisible red pen to mark everything they didn't approve of.
Guarding their gates like the gods of their own heaven.

Preached of "natural beauty" behind their reshaped noses and hot sticked hair.

They told me heaven was the goal.
Walking the golden streets.
Seeing my fallen family.

I am sorry for believing them.
For taking your reputation
And not taking time to ask if its true.
It was all before I met you.

Cause when I met you...
Well.
None of that was true.

You are... Endless.
Big.
And you are terrifying.
Your love is big and terrifying
Your love
Your love goes on forever and ever and ever and ever and I can never run out of your forgiveness.
That is the beauty of YOU.
I will always mess up.
I can never collect enough checks to be good enough.
Because there is no list.
I am not the big enough to save myself.
That is why there is you.
When you wrap your arms around me I don't feel trapped I feel free.
I am growing in your boundless grace.

Heaven isn't the goal.
I don't care if its a gold street or a gravel drive way.
I want to go there
Because You're there.
Jesus, you are the main event.
And I plan on telling everyone that.