The Soldier

until memories break through that wall

Hot. Burning hot.

That was the first thing, Tessa felt. It was so hot, she tried to put away the blankets over her, only to notice that she could not move her arms.

Immediately opening her eyes now, she needed some time to get used to the bright light over her. It was not her bedroom, the light was too bright and it smelled differently, so she tried to focus her sight and that was when she noticed the pain.

Her stomach hurt like hell, burning and itching and Tessa could not touch it, because she was not able to move properly. Bound to something.

Did they get her? Was she their hostage again? The smell was different, she noticed, cleaner and more... chemical.

Ziva -

The army, she was not-

This wasn't a battlefield. She wasn't a hostage. Well. Not their hostage at least.

'You are home, Tessa. You are home.'

She closed her eyes in an attempt to flee the bright light. She was so tired again. Wanted to switch that unnerving light with the comforting darkness she was in before. Let sleep carry her away.

When she heard someone clear their throat beside her, she opened her eyes immediately.

„Hello, my name is Helen, I'm your doctor. Are you feeling sick or dizzy?", a calm, friendly voice asked her, and she tried to recognize it, but was not able to.

She felt not sick or dizzy, just tired, so she shook her head, her mouth suddenly feeling like a desert.

She tried to focus her sight once again, but the light was too bright and everything else was blurry.

„That is good, that means you are healing. I will dim the light a bit now, and I would like you to open your eyes, okay? Are you thirsty?", she asked.

Tessa nodded again, squinting a couple of times, until the light she could still see behind her eyelids turned into something less bright.

The first thing she saw was a young woman who held a glass of water with a straw in front of her. She was in a hospital? What happened and why were her arms and feet fixated? She would ask her, but right now she was too thirsty to think about anything else than the glass of water right in front of her.

„Don't drink too fast, okay?", Helen said, carefully sticking the straw between Tessa's dry lips and she took some sips, enjoying the cooling sensation in her mouth and down her throat.

Once she got some water, Tessa looked at her surroundings, it kind of reminded her of a hospital, but it looked more high-tech than normally.

She looked herself down and once again noticed that her hands and feet were fixated at the bed, held by some strange blue light and so she immediately tried to free herself.

That sudden movement took the other woman by surprise and she took two steps back, putting the water glass at the small table beside Tessa's bed.

She wanted to ask where she was and why she was bound to the bed. Tessa tried to sit up, when a sudden, sharp sting in her stomach made her scream in pain.

She could feel an injection in her left arm and was so tired once again, slowly drifting into sleep, the burning pain suddenly a dull feeling and not keeping her from doing so.

When Tessa woke up the next time, she was alone and the light was turned off, only a small lamp on her bedside illuminating the room around her.

Where was she? She tried to remember what happened, she knew she fell asleep in her bed.

Loki had work for her to do on the next morning, so she went to bed early. And then... yeah, what then? There was that burning pain in her stomach, and she woke up here.

Oh, come on, you can not possibly have forgotten how you came here, it is like you would purposefully sabotage our plan, Tess.

„Loki? What happened? Where am I here?", she whispered, knowing very well he was not really there but rather in her mind.

But it was calming her down to notice she was able to talk once again, even though her voice sounded rasp.

In addition to that it was calming her down that she was not completely alone here. She never saw that room before, she did not know where she was, what happened that brought her here, why she was fixated like some felon and maybe Loki could answer some of those questions.

If there was any other possibility, I would have done it differently, I promise. But there was no other way.

She tensed, once Loki planted the memory of how she came here in her mind.

„You will not like this, Tessa. But it is necessary." And then the burning pain in her stomach.

„It is necessary." Once again her stomach started to ache, still feeling a bit dull and she could not keep herself from shivering in shock.

„You will not like this." She stared at the ceiling above her, the betrayal stinging deeper than the weapon in Loki's hand ever could.

Tess.

Anger took over to ban that deep sadness. She screamed until she could not hear her own thoughts anymore, until that doctor came back, until the medicine in her veins forced her shaking body to stop and settle down.