The Soldier

fare thee well, soldier

Don't move, Tess. They will never suspect you to be part of my plan if you stay exactly where you are now.

The missing supremacy in his voice, the insecure voice instead of the aloofness Tessa learned to deal with, made her feel uneasy.

For the first time he sounded afraid of what was about to happen. He sounded so... vulnerable.

No matter how much she tried to deny it, once she admitted it, she couldn't brush it off as something minorly inconvenient anymore. Or something she imagined, a trick her mind or Loki was playing on her.
Not only her thoughts ran wild, uncontrolled through her mind, searching for a solution where nothing but giving up in the end seemed possible, imaginable even.

Tessa tried to be hopeful about him coming back, tried to let that optimism flow over to him, but no matter how desperately she wanted to deny the truth, that he would most likely not be able to get out of that situation, she couldn't.

Her heart beat twice as fast and there was a new, heavy weight on her shoulders that kept her into place, a new fear, but that was not the worst thing - fear turned into her constant companion during war.
It proved way worse to admit she wasn't the only one feeling that way.

Loki was afraid.

And that concerned her more than anything else could.

Banning these thoughts for now, she squinted her eyes to get a clearer sight on Loki and the Avengers, but the distance between them made that impossible, and she couldn't come any nearer.

Natasha insisted on keeping that much of a distance, and Tony made sure she would do so by leaving one of his robot-suits or whatever they were right beside her.

„Only a precaution, it will make sure, you are fine, Tessa."

That was not enough to stop her. She wanted to come nearer. She could, she tried even, but Loki stopped her immediately.

Do me that last little favour, Tess, and do not move. They will never know you were my soldier; you can live your life just the way you imagine it without me for now.

Tessa remembered a bomb falling down. Grey dust all around her. Her shattered home. Fire and screams and Adam's grip holding her back. She couldn't lose someone again, just because she couldn't reach them.

„I... I can't just let them bring you away, I can't stand here while they imprison you, knowing that... I can't just leave you like that, Loki. And neither can you.", she argued, still
standing on her spot though.

Loki chuckled half-heartedly, in an attempt to make her feel better, because he knew she liked that feeling. But the shivers running down her spine only reminded her that this was probably the last time she felt his presence like that. 

You disobey me even now, Tess? Come on, be a good soldier for once. 

There was something playful in his voice, something so familiarly mocking, that Tessa could almost forget about the fact that this was one of the last things he would ever say to her. Almost.

I am mocking you, Tess. You were a good soldier and-

'Don't talk to me like this is the last time we ever talk to each other. Please, I... just trick me for once. Lie, twist the truth, twist my thoughts, use your silver tongue and make me believe that everything is going to be fine, Loki. Manipulate me until I believe that... that you are coming
back. Trick me, because I can't cope with... being left again.'

Oh, Tess. Do you not think the times I tricked you into doing what I wanted should be over? I promised to tell you the truth. Which is that I am most likely not coming back. And -

'Stop it. Don't do this to me, please.', Tessa thought, looking at him from afar.

Loki was holding some sort of blue light, Thor on the other end of it.

Seeing him, for a moment everything in her mind calmed down, a cooling, soothing sensation ran over her body and Tessa saw how Loki looked over to her, before the place where he stood was empty.

I will come back to you, Tess. I promise.