Shrinking

Chapter Seven

 Connor’s POV

I wonder what it’s like to be free of all worries. To be utterly careless, like there was no good and no bad, no right and no wrong. To be this one weightless person, seeing the world as a playground, rather than what it really is. A black hole. If you think about, the world is quite mind blowing. You are surrounded by people with these thoughts, thoughts you’ll never know, demons you’ll never meet, and problems you’ll never solve. But careless people; they don’t have brains like that – brains like mine. This is why I envy them so much. It seems enlightening. To me, it seems like freedom.

And yet, here I am, in a shabby dorm room popping my morning pills into my mouth, mind reeling with anxious thoughts. Ever since I took Peyton down to the trainers office last week, I couldn’t keep my thoughts away from her. We found out she sprained her ACL in her knee, and she summoned to wear a knee brace for the next 4-5 weeks. She was also restricted from playing lacrosse until further notice. The trainer gave her stretches to perform daily to strengthen her knee again, but I doubt she would do them. If Peyton didn’t want to do something there was a very good chance it was not going to be done. It was one of the reason I liked her so much; she had a hidden fire beneath the barrier of her golden hair.

I was on my way to my first class, thinking that Peyton had eyes the same exact color as my phone case, when my phone rang inside my bag. Accepting the call, I pressed it to my ear and awaited the wrath of my mother’s voice.

“Hi mother.” I kept my voice flat and emotionless. She liked it better that way.

“Hello, Connor. How is school going?”

“Great,” I lied. She always asked rhetorical questions like this before letting me have it. She never really wanted answers, just wanted to make herself sound as though she cared.

“That’s good. Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about your father. He’s going to be away on a business trip for the next month or so and he wanted me to let you know he will not accepting any calls. It is a very important trip for the company and he does not want to be distracted.”

“Okay.” My jaw was clenched. It’s not like I would call him anyway.

“Also, he’s concerned that you may not performing well enough in your classes and-”

I hung up the phone. I hated the woman, I really, really, did. I know that may seem harsh, but I don’t care. She’s cold in all ways possible.

My thoughts were interrupted when I noticed Peyton, half-limping-half-walking towards me. She flashed me a shy smile as she glanced down at her black knee brace. God, she was gorgeous. I haven’t seen her smile since the first time we talked, I think. It was refreshing. She did look a bit pale, though.

“Hey, you. How’s the knee?”

“It’s great. I can barely feel a thing, this brace will be off in no time.” It sounded as though she was trying to convince herself.

“I doubt that,” I replied laughing. “I saw you land on it; it was pretty gross, actually. It looked like it dug into the ground.

“Oh, was it?” I heard the joking in her voice.

“Yup,” I said, popping the ‘p’.

Peyton let out a laugh, and said nothing more. The sound of her laughter faded in the air as she just looked at me. Staring at me, even. Her eyes were boring into mine as I saw a smile tug on her lips.

Peyton looked away suddenly, her face completely red. “Oh – um, I actually came to give this to you.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a Chemistry text book. It was my missing Chemistry book, I realized. “I think we switched books when we ran into each other last week. I’ve been meaning to give it back to you. Do you by any chance have my history book?”