Whimsical Voyage

Chapter 17

"Sometimes, listening to their side is not that bad, afterall. You just think fairly, you need to be fair all the time."

I'm having a dilemma after I heard her words. Eventhough I don't know her, her words strike me really hard. She got a point, I should listen. But I'm scared, scared to know the truth.

But how will I ever help Crane if I let my fear eat me up? My fear will not help me get through with this, it will not help me to solve my problems. My head is circulating with so many what if's and scary truth.

Hindi na ako magugulat kung isa sa mga araw na ito ay mabaliw na ako dahil sa mga problema. If depression can't get through me, then maybe my problems can.

My brain wants to shut down for awhile, I want to rest, to just forget all of this problems. But I know my brain won't let me.

I stared at Tita Merry as she guided me towards the door. This is the day that we will go at Tita Merry's house, we will go home. And I know, Papa is waiting their. Now, I don't know what to do when the we arrive at Tita Merry's house.

Should I ignore him? But the question is, kaya ko ba? I can't just ignore Papa, I can't do that to him. Maybe running away from him, but ignoring him has a big difference.

"Tita, when did Lola died?" She smiled at me then continue guiding me.

"The day that Mila gave birth to you." I fell on silence.

Maybe that's why Mama is getting out of my reach. Pero bakit ngayon lang? Ngayon lang siya lumalayo saakin? Bakit hindi pa dati?

And Earl..

Sandali akong napatigil sa paglalakad, nang mapansin ni Tita Merry na hindi na ako gumagalaw ay lumingon ito saakin.

"Tita, na saan si Earl?" I haven't see him for a long time, simula ng magpunta kami sa bahay ni Tita Merry, hindi ko na nakita ang bunsong kapatid ko.

Kumunot ang noo nito.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin? Hindi ba at nasa bahay niyo siya?"

"Si Mama.." Mabilis akong tumakbo palabas ng hospital. Hindi ko na nilingon pa si Tita Merry na patuloy na tinatawag ang pangalan ko.

Na saan ang kapatid ko?!?

After I moved to Tita Merry's house, I never had a chance to talk to my Mother. I know when I left our house, she's still confine on the hospital. Since then I haven't seen Earl, saan siya dinala ni Mama?

I don't know the way back, but I don't want to stop running, I need to find my brother.

I don't have a money, I am lost between the ocean of people, I don't know what to do anymore..

Napasabunot ako saaking buhok, hindi ko malaman kung ano ang gagawin. Saglit akong natulala habang pinagmamasdan ang mga taong may kanya-kanyang ginagawa, ang mabilis nilang pagtawid habang panay busina ng mga sasakyan, ang nagmamadali nilang mga yapak na mayroong paroroonan, ang hirap na dinadanas para lamang makasakay sa pampublikong sasakyan. Makapunta lamang sa nais na paroroonan, nakikipagsiksikan, nakikipagtulakan. Nais makauna sa sasakyan, gagawin ang lahat sapagkat tila napakahalaga ng lugar na kanilang pupuntahan. Bawat galaw ay kalkulado, bawat yapak ay nasisiguro, may nais patungahan kung kaya't sila ay gumagalaw. May nais marating dahil ang mundo ay pinapagalaw ng oras, oras na napakahalaga, ang nag-iisang ginto na kailanman ay hindi na mababalikan pa, lalo na kapag lumipas na.

Pansamantalang nawala saaking isipan ang aking nakababatang kapatid. Bumalik saaking balintataw ang robot na paparating na sa aming mundo, sa buhay na tahimik. Tahimik sa paningin nila.