Kleptomania | Billie Eilish

Sixteen

Maddie

"So glad you could make it, Maddie!" Maggie exclaims while bringing me into a hug.

I hug her tightly then smile, "of course, thank you for the invite."

Today is the Fourth of July and Billie and her family are hosting their annual party in celebration. Billie was particularly excited for this year since I was able to join. I gladly accepted her invitation because this year, I do not want to spend it with my family. This week, my mom has been clingy and hasn't let me out of the house much. So, I've been trying to get out and find my personal space again. Usually, I wouldn't mind staying at home but Billie's around now and I prefer her company than to be alone.

The gathering is about 30 or so people. All being a mix of some of Billie's friends including Xavier and Jade, Finneas' friends and friends of Maggie and Patrick. Zoe and Drew are here also, I've only talked to them the first time Billie and I hung out. At the drive-in theatre in May that was spontaneous as hell.

I finally find Billie, who's sitting with a group of friends. The only one I recognize is Zoe, Xavier, Jade, and, Drew. They're all sitting together around a small bond fire. Jade catches my eye as I walk over and exclaims, "hi Madison!"

Jade hasn't stopped calling me 'Madison' after one of our one-on-one surfing sessions together. She told me she rather calls me my legal name than 'Maddie.' I can't help but cringe a tiny bit when she calls me 'Madison.' But at the same time, it's a pretty name and only my mom calls me that, so I let it slide.

A follow up of 'hellos' and excitement builds as I sit beside Billie. Billie looks over at me, "you look good." She smiles showing her white teeth then wraps her arm around my shoulder, bringing me into her side.

"I know," I chuckle. "How are you?"

"The same, nothings changed but I'm good. How about you? How's the mom situation?"

"I'm okay, and she's still being kinda weird," I exhale. "But she's getting better and I'm just happy I got out tonight."

"You still don't know why she's being so uptight?"

"No. But my best guess is that she's just adjusting to the idea of me moving out soon and graduating school. She's not ready to let go, it's like- a motherly thing... or something."

She rubs the side of my shoulder, "she's gonna be just fine and you're gonna be just fine, okay?"

Her arm unwraps from me, "okay." I look over at Billie to meet her blue eyes.

I know that my mom is being protective because of Audrey, she's afraid she'll lose me too since I'm almost an adult now. She wants me to still be her little girl. But I keep my mouth shut on those details.

I notice Billie's eyes drift from my eyes to my lips, gesturing that she's thinking of kissing me. If this was a movie, I'd kiss her so fucking quick and ignore the fact that a crowd of people are watching. But this isn't a movie, and I break our eye contact and stare at the open fire.

My attention falls back to the rest of the group. I try to engage and add little comments now and then, but I feel bored. Everyone tells me their names and I try hard to remember but honestly, I'll forget them by the end of the night.