Kleptomania | Billie Eilish

Twenty Two

Maddie

Patience.

The action that heals all, or at least from I've heard. I never believed that time could mend you back together again. It sounded just as stupid as one of Xavier's rants about manifestation. Until he got me up on the law of attraction and I have started practicing it. It seemed ridiculous at first but now here I am writing sentences over and over on a piece of paper. I'm trying anything at this point to feel better about my life.

I've stayed a week at Billie's now. The plan was only for the weekend but things changed. We had convinced her family that my parents were gonna be gone for two weeks. And I didn't want to be lonely for two, so I lingered for one at Billie's.

Billie has enjoyed my company, she kept saying things like, "this is what it'll be like if we move in together!" Her sappy comments always make me warm and my cheeks red. It's cute to see her so excited about little things like that for when we get out of LA.

I'm still leaving in the fall. I have to. I can't live with my parents anymore. Billie has thought about leaving Highland Park too recently, she's eligible, and her parent's house is getting cramped.

Maybe, she can come with me.

I would really like that.

That lie of my parents being on vacation for two weeks is getting suspicious now for Maggie and Patrick. I'm getting "kicked out." In other words, I'm kicking myself out for feeling like such a burden. I've considered living on the streets for a few more days or something. I do not wanna go home, like ever. I asked Sydney if I could spend a few days with her but she declined. Her parents have said they love me, but Syd said they would poke for answers. And, she knows I don't like an interrogation.

They're protective. Good parents, might I say.

I haven't received a single call or text from neither my Mom nor Dad. They don't give a shit about me.

In other news, Billies been worried about me. Which I hate, I don't want to drag her into any of my problems. But we're already in deep and I'm letting her help me. She's glad that I am but, the whole situation is making me anxious.

"Wikihow says the first step to stop compulsive stealing is to identify the problem," Billie says with her head in her laptop. "You got that one down."

"Step two: defining your stealing behaviors," She continues. "Do you steal for an emotional excessive? Do you sense preliminary tension, then a thrill of excitement that builds up previous to the theft and remedy after it is finished? Is that this then accompanied by using feeling guilt, disgrace, and regret? Those are some signs and symptoms that stealing may be a trouble for you--"

"Billie," I interrupt. "How is Wikihow supposed to help me?"

"You'd be surprised, there are some great tips. Step three: write out your feelings. See? You're already doing that! With... Xavier's weird witchcraft shit."

"I'm trying to fix my life with that witchcraft," I snort. "I'm not writing out my feelings."

"Witchcraft ain't gone' help all the way through, we gotta do other shit."

"I know," I mutter. "It's just hard, I guess."

"It is hard, and that's why I'm here to help you."

"What's step four?"

"Uhhh... therapy, medication, the most common styles of therapy for stealing encompass: Cognitive Behavioral remedy, Dialectical behavior therapy, Psychodynamic treatment, and group therapy. CBT allows human beings to alternate their thought process so that they can change their emotions and behaviors. DBT is focused on teaching individuals misery tolerance, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and mindfulness. Psychodynamic interventions look into--"