CHAINED BY ARAB MAFIA(Ongoing)

chapter 11

It's strange.

How hollow I feel. . .

i close my eyes..i had never felt so alone, so lost... So incapable of doing even the smallest tasks. And this was only the beginning, the beginning of the pain, the suffering and the endless congo line of emotions that were in store for me. i flinched when i felt hand on my shoulder.

"hey..hey its me calm down" ahad said.. i sighed and looked away.

"how are you nur "he asked concerned 

"I feel so raw today; like there is no skin over my pain and the wind makes it bleed." tears started to well up. 

"nur i fucking feel so sorry for you..but you need to snap out and open your eyes now its making you weak..you need to open up to me.. I can't heal you, but I can help you to heal yourself." 

i hesitate and stared at him his eyes showed warm and empathy.."i wont hurt you i promise" he said.he held my hands and stared deep in my eyes.

taking a deep breath i told ahad everything..his body seemed to tense up every passing moment.his expression quickly fading from calm to horror to anger.

"you asher..he just been through alot nur...you see at a very young age he was introduced to the world of mafia..killing, violence was all he saw growing up..until he fell for my sister..Amal" my eyes widened at the name. "..sh..she betrayed and cheated him...it pains me to say this nur..but thats the truth..he divorced her and  she betrayed us all and went back her lover...our rival mafia but they didn't accepted her and brutally murdered her. Asher was the first one to receive her dead body..and ever since then he despised and blamed himself for amals death. it got so bad that he was admitted to the mental asylum..hes sick nur...diagnosed with some rare personality disorder."

i bowed my head and laced my fingers together. " he has this monster inside him..breaking his walls and taking control of him."

"i want to help him" i whispered. "you cant..its just hes dangerous nur..youve seen it yourself....he cant heal"

i stood up abruptly "what do you mean he cant heal ahad...dont you get it..hes alone...all he need is the hand to help him pass through the tunnel towards the light"

"some people arent meant to see the light." 

" thank you for being there for me" i hugged ahad and went for a stroll in the garden..

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It is a cruelty of life that a heart can keep on beating even after it has been broken in two. It can feel as though it is being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it will implode in your chest, but still the boom-boom continues. i have never been hurt this way before...Asher the person i was falling in love with,the person i was starting to trust..turned out to be a lone wolf..no matter how much i hated him right now...deep inside my heart i knew i had a soft spot for him..ashers sick..and i will help him..i know i'll be hurt broken in this path of  austerity but i am ready to give all of myself to him...

i sighed and held the flower in my fingertips so that it did not touch my scuffed palms. How was it that in all this chaos this delicate bloom should survive? 

i stroll towards the other side of the gigantic fountain and saw a deserted garage...eagar to explore it i walked to the front of the garage door and lifted it up...For perhaps a split second my grief was suspended, my emotions were filled with surprised. At first glance i would have sworn i saw blood.

ASHERS POV

The guilt sat not on my chest but inside my brain. What i had done i could not un-do.The guilt was like gasoline in my guts. My insides died slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt me out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person.

i hit the wall in front of me with my bare knuckles...pain coursed through my knuckles...no matter how hard i tried i always end up hurting people i deeply cared for....i dont want her but my love for her has grown immeasurable. what have i done! she must loathe me now!

 in my intense silence i somehow screamed with my whole body. my eyes wide with horror, my chalky face gaunt and immobile, and my  fists clenched with blanched knuckles and the nails digging deeply into the palms of my hand..i fell on the ground and cried my impenetrable walls collapsing and dissolving every passing moment..i felt helpless and alone.

NURS POV

i ran towards asher instantly and examined his knuckles which were covered with bloods..he sat on the floor with his knees and was crying..i got up and searched for bandages but found none..panic started to grip me as i quickly took off my scarf i called out to asher but he just kept on crying...my eyes started to water too seeing him helpless and broken...i ran to him and cleaned his hands carefully i tied the scarf around his knuckles.then i held cupped his face and embraced him tightly.

He sobbed into my chest unceasingly, hands clutching at my shirt.i held him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked my chest. A tiny lapse let him pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, before he collapsed again, his howls of misery worsening. The pain must have come in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling him back into the outstretched arms of his grief. i tried to calm him and whispered soothing words in his ears...watching his condition made me miserable.

after an hour asher silenced his head buried in my chest..

"im sorry" he mumbled i was quiet. "i will free you nur..today..i know it'll be hard for me but i have to in order for you to be safe" his voice edged with regret. 

i simply nodded. " its best you stay away from me". my heart ached and my love for him resurfaced. he pulled away and stood up..not facing me.."i cant even look at you and not feel the guilt...if by any chance please forgive me.." 

"but i love you " i whispered. 

"if pain can fade away so can the love" was all he said before he left.

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