*LIKE A MOTH DRAWN TO FLAME*
((flashback))
Shots of gun ranged on my ears as I dashed upstairs and burst in my room and hid beneath the bed trembling with fear. I could hear the laugh and footsteps approaching my room as I sank deeper under my bed h...
through my teary eyes I watch the sun fall behind the horizon, painting the sky shades of red and pink, and I thank God that this day has come and gone. All the pain I suffered. All the hurt I've felt. Everything. Gone.
"Do you see those colours, nur?" Ehmed asked out of nowhere in his most comforting voice. "They are symbols. Each showing you the good tomorrow could bring." I want to tell that soon those colours will be hidden within the black despair of night, a symbol of the suffering that tomorrow is going bring. Instead I stay silent. It's better to suffer alone, I tell myself.
i smiled and shifted a little as he sat down on the bench ..."how are you?"
"i dont know asher told that he'd let me go"
"in that case you must be happy"
i stayed quiet.."you know sunsets are the proof that endings can be beautiful too"
i looked over at him he stared ahead seemed to get lost in his own trail of thoughts..
"how was your nur like?"
his lips curved as he sighed "my nur..i first met her when i was sixteen...she was a fierce girl, Her emotions were not easily hidden on her innocent face. But her eyes" he looked at me" her eyes showed her soul. They were a deep pool honey As I looked into her eyes I knew, all the beauty of the universe could not even hope to compete with this simple thing: passion. she would fight to the very last tear for her life. She would not let the world break her. Sure she could cry, but she would never let them take her true self from her. She clung to it with passion. Passion that made her beautiful." a stray tear touched ehmeds cheek.
he then reached for his wallet and took out a picture
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i gasped and he chortled half heartdly.."she is really beautiful right?"
"i mean y..yes..i have never seen someone this beautiful".
" she died 20 years ago..before i even adopted asher..when she died in the car accident" he stopped."she was returning from the hospital..the last i'd talked to her..she was so excited wanted to tell me something but wouldnt on the phone..you see she was pregnant" his voice broke now.
"but my love her has never really faded i still love her like i did 20 years ago"
"i will miss you so much" i said and hugged ehmed..i wept, tears streaming from my eyes, loud, heaving sobs tearing from my throat.
"he ran a comforting hand on my back."shh...(sa'ashtaq lak aydana ya qamar satie)
(i will miss you too my shining moon)
...
...
And here I am, in a city I don't belong, with people I don't really know, going on with my life and trying to be someone I'm not sure I want to be. I can't recognize the person I am today.
But when it's three in the morning and I can't sleep, I start missing the old me again. Even if I hate the way I used to be, I miss myself. I miss the place I called home, I miss the people...Elif and the feelings I had back then. I hate it, I hate myself for this, I don't want to keep missing those days like there is nothing wrong with them. There's a lot of things that weren't how they should've been.
i stood up and went near the window...stared at the quiet city of Arab..and in the stillness and the darkness of the night i could see a silhouette of a person as if he was creeping inside the mansion...my mind instantly got alerted i tried tracing the mans direction...
i staggered backwards when i saw the figure breaking the kitchen window..what the hell? there must be some armed mafia guards or something..but i was scared..i quietly slipped out of my room i dont know where i was going but nonetheless i head towards the kitchen.
as i made it i recoiled in horror as i saw the shattered pieces of glass..my full body was alarmed now, i scanned the kitchen but there was no trace of person...as i head towards the hallway i heard hush whispers from Ehmeds office.
i went near towards the semi opaque glass door and peeped inside..my eyes went wide at the scene that played before me...ehmed stood calmly in front of a man holding a glock He leveled the revolver at ehmed, his fingers quaking as he felt the cold metal grow increasingly heavy with the passing second. He spoke, his voice a soft plea, "Ehmed, please. Don't make me do this."
the voice sounded vaguely familiar to me my heart throbbed violently against my chest i wanted to intervene but my body felt numb and unresponsive..
"you dont have to do this my boy,put the gun down"
"NO..NO you dont understand..they would kill me if i dont do it" the voice sounded desperate.
"ahad...come with me and you will be saved"
what!?i stood with my whole body shooking Ahad...this cant be ...but why is he holding a fucking glock in front of his grandfather...oh my god! is he going to shoot him.
"there is no time..ehmed.." just then as i was about to reveal myself the silence was lifted like a veil Every gunshot was the one that ripped me from this existence, Every blast to the gentle air was the one that laid my hands so very cold. It was as if that sound had become the murderer, a brutal shout from the coldest of "lungs."
for a split second my eyes met with the murderer...as he took the run..i didnt know what to do...i looked at ehmed he lay down..and breathed his last breath..i staggered towards him my eyes dripping with tears..."no..pls no look at me" i held his wounded chest and kept pressure at them.."help..help" i screamed with hysteria...i panicked "plse help" his weak handfound mine hand as he look at me in the eyes.."sh.."he managed to say...and as if he were saying something ..i went near himas he whispered his final words "love changes everything...fi..ll ..yo..ur...li...fe....with...it.tell...him...th..at..you...lovv.." and just then asher burst through the doors..and screamed in agony...