CHAINED BY ARAB MAFIA(Ongoing)

chapter 39

It's that day of drowning, here again, the cold wash only I can feel. I don't want to get up. I don't want to move at all. When the tears weren't even half way done i felt was empty. i couldn't have cried even if i wanted to. i haven't experienced this feeling before. The sadness was still there, but not raw anymore – now it was an empty unhappiness - the kind i didn't think would easily lift. i stared at my surrounding and felt as if i was in a pit. my surroundings were exactly the same, but they gave me no emotion. How could that be? i needed emotion to feel alive, to feel love. but i guess my fate always deceived me because Every time I reach out with love to someone up there, someone I hope can throw a rope, the floor sinks a little lower, jolting my body as it stops - crushing me with a new pain, another abandonment.  

He told me he loved me and found ways to become physically close, chipping away at he emotional layers of protection only so that he could do the same with my clothing. Yet I was only entertainment to this man, someone to take for a "test drive," or worse still, "a joy ride," not caring if I was left a burnt out wreck at the end. i had no choice but to give up running. i can't fight against him. 

i lay my head onto the couch by the window lost in the trail of hopeless thoughts. i heard asher enter my room. he strides towards me and sat on the opposite sofa.  

"sawf natazawaj alyawm ( we will get married today)" i looked away.

"i brought you a dress wear this and get ready i will come to you in an hour" he tried to hold my hand but i flinched away. 

ASHER POV

She looks at me like the fire in her eyes has been dowsed with ice water, if anything it makes the blue more pale. I'm not used to it, it unnerves me. I want her to give freely like she always does but she won't. It's like she just crawled right back inside some invisible shell and no matter how hard I try she's unreachable. She moves her eyes more slowly, like they're heavy, an effort to move. She sat and stared out of the window, more tears, no surprise there. She let them fall, not raising a hand to stop them. They splashed down onto the couch in a rain-like pattern and soaked in leaving dark splotches on the coffee coloured fabric.

all of sudden nur stood up and snatched that dress from closet. she tore it and stomped on it. "i will get married to you as if its my funeral!" she seethed. i looked at her furiously. she came near me inches apart from my face. "ASHER" she breathed heavily. " i will make you regret marrying me! you will fucking hate me, i will make you hate me so much that you will fucking kill me with your bare hands!" she raved. i grabbed her by her neck and whispered in her ear. 

"you will be mine forever" i smirked and gently nibbled her ear while she shivered. i let go and grabbed her forearm. "fuck waiting, we're getting married right at this moment!"

....

i looked up at the clock showing 12 am. i rubbed my aching head. "I DONT FUCKING CARE IF ITS 12 IN THE NIGHT I NEED THE FUCKING MONK AND THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT RIGHT NOW!" i stormed at the phone. i glanced at nur who was curled the corner sofa. "yes fucking get him here in 20 minutes  or no one lives!" i threatened and hung up the call. i kept uttering profanities and paced the living room angrily. i glared at nur and stomped towards her "stop being so miserable!" i held her chin. she raised her eyes at me and i sighed. calming my self down i looked back at her. "are you hungry?" she slightly nodded and my heart smiled. i got up and went towards the kitchen and decided to make her a sandwich with all my efforts and whole heartedly.

she was still curled up at the sofa with a stray tear on her cheek i sighed. "hey, i made you a sandwich and got you some juice" i said and she slowly got up she stood before me. i handed her the tray. she looked at me and smiled which somehow warmed my heart but before i knew she slammed the tray across the room. i looked at her with amazement he face contoured in anger and desperation. shes trying way to hard!  i internally smirked. i pat her head "dont worry i'll make you a new one" just then i turned to clean the mess the door bell rang.  i looked back at nur and smirked. " dont worry habibi you'll be mine soon."

...

the monk and the witnesses sat before us and nur was seated beside me. there was one thing that controls everything and anything in life. an emotion so strong that if not controlled can completely debilitate us, push us beyond the limits of humanity but the satisfaction of completely achieving that love at the same time make us powerful. thats how i felt when she said yes for the first time. i smiled and relaxed for a moment but it was only for a few seconds i recomposed myself and rejected that feeling after signing the marriage contract (Nikah) i pulled out the ring from the case and  held her warm hand that was shivering as tears flowed freely from her eyes. i looked at her and felt sad, her face was confused in pain and anger. her hand trembled when signed the contract. i smiled lovingly at her. nur was mine..only mine now. i own her!