Just Breathe

s e v e n

Remus

The first week of November was upon us, along with it Sirius's birthday. The third of November, to be exact. For the occasion, we were going to take a trip into town to see Big Ben (though we'd both seen it before) and to get Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks or something. 

I was feeling extra crappy today, but I wasn't about to let that stop us. I got dressed in my favorite, heaviest sweater, my jeans, and my red converse, pulling a beanie over my curls. I placed a mask over my nose and mouth and swung my portable oxygen bag over my shoulder.

I yelled a goodbye to Lily and crossed the hall. I knocked on Sirius's apartment door and it swung open almost immediately. Sirius stood there, cheeks flushed with excitement and eyes sparkling. He wore his leather jacket over a grey zip up hoodie, his long hair at his shoulders.

"Shall we?" He asked, holding out his arm, even though I was the one outside his door, inviting him on a date.

"We shall," I said, hooking my arm through his. We drove James's car through the city, parking on the side of the street and walking around hand in hand.

"You're super duper extra cute today, you know that?" Sirius asked.

"I didn't know that actually, because I feel super duper extra not."

"Well, that's unfortunate," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead since my mouth was covered. 

We got our lattes and sat at a table in the Starbucks and I dug out my nebulizer, taking a puff of it. I coughed and I could feel all the mucus rattling in my chest. "Ow," I muttered.

We drank our coffee in the calm environment, enjoying each other's company. I gave Sirius his birthday present and watched him open it. 

It was a wraparound ring with little diamonds forming the Canis Major constellation. James helped me chip in to buy it, since I didn't have near enough money. 

Sirius stared, open mouthed. His eyes started to tear up and he cleared his throat. 

"Remus, I...It's beautiful, I love it. Thank you." He slipped it onto his middle finger and held out his hand, admiring it. 

He leaned over the table to kiss me. We were off to the side of the coffee shop, so no one was really watching, so we kissed for awhile. Until I couldn't hold it in anymore and I coughed into the kiss, spluttering a bit. 

I pulled away, embarrassed, coughing roughly into my arm. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. That was disgusting. I'm so embarrassed."

Sirius only smiled. "Don't be, it's fine."

I hid my face in my hands, face red, spluttering coughs still bursting out of my mouth. 

Once I had calmed down enough and caught my breath, Sirius moved my hands from in front of my face, smiling warmly at me. 

"You're beautiful," he said."

I smiled weakly. "I think you're beautiful too," I said.

Sirius grinned, standing and holding out his hand. 

"How about we walk back to the car?" He suggested. 

So we threw away our cups and left the Starbucks. I grabbed my mask and stuffed it in my bag on our way out. 

I sighed, remembering how long a walk it was to James's car. Sirius eyed me and squeezed my hand. 

"We could take a shortcut?" He suggested.

I nodded, thankful we didn't have to walk for as long.

Sirius led me off the main road and towards an alley. I squeezed his hand a bit tighter, nervousness creeping through me, though I knew I was safe with Sirius.

We walked for awhile, though not as long as we would've if we'd taken the long way back, and we were just about out of the alley. I could see the car, even. 

A lady stepped out of a door in front of us, smoking a cigarette. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if the wind didn't blow the smoke right into my face, or if I'd worn my mask. 

Sirius froze beside me when he saw the lady. She was about two feet away from me and she eyed our linked hands and blew out a puff of smoke right into my face. I started coughing almost immediately. 

I could feel the smoke in my lungs, choking me. The lady's eyes widened in surprise and she stepped forward to help, but Sirius pushed her away. My eyes started to water. I couldn't breath.

Terrible, hacking coughs tore through me, rattling my lungs. I couldn't catch a breath. I felt weak in the knees and before I knew it, Sirius had reached out to try and catch me. I was on my knees, pounding my chest with my fist. Tears slipped from my eyes as I panicked. 

I couldn't breathe.

I was scared. I was so scared. I couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe. My lungs burned. Sirius was there, though, rubbing my back, talking to me. 

"Should I call an ambulance?!" The lady asked, standing back where Sirius pushed her, panic in her voice. Her lit, smoking cigarette was still between her fingers.

"I don't know, I don't know what to do," Sirius said. "Remus, baby, just breathe, alright? You're gonna be okay, I promise. It's okay, just breathe."

It wasn't so easy. The coughs still wrecked through me like razors, so much so that it almost hurt more than the lack of oxygen. Almost.

"Oh, would you bloody put that thing out?!" Sirius yelled at the lady and she snapped out of her daze and put the cigarette out under her foot. 

"Um..." Sirius muttered, eyes wild. "Oh!" 

He reached into my bag and grabbed the nebulizer, pressing it into my hands. I was feeling lightheaded and couldn't figure out how it worked. I tasted blood in my mouth. The coughs really were tearing up my throat.

Sirius must've realized I was too out of it to function, because he helped me put it in my mouth and hit the button and I breathed in the mist. He did it again and I was finally able to stop coughing, though my breathing was still short and fast. 

Sirius breathed out slowly, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on mine. I noticed tears in his eyes and I was reminded of my own. I tried to reach up and wipe my eyes, but my hand wouldn't cooperate and I kind of slumped into Sirius, whimpering in pain and fear.

Sirius kissed my head and, glaring at the lady, scooped me up into his arms and carried me the rest of the way to James's van. 

He set me in the passenger's seat and buckled me up before walking around to the driver's side. I felt myself drifting in and out of sleep, head pounding. I heard Sirius talking, but I don't think he was talking to me. 

"He isn't coughing anymore, Lily. No. Yeah, it was scary, but I think he's okay now."

When the car stopped, Lily, James, and Peter where there. Sirius carried me again and the next minute he was laying me down in my bed. 

Lily was on the phone and James and Peter stood in the doorway, looking on in concern. 

"He's just gonna sleep now, Mom. Yep. Yes I know. K bye, love you. I'll tell him."

Lily came over and I blinked lazily up at her. She hooked up my G-tube and kissed my forehead. "Mom says she loves you and she's glad you're safe."

"Mmm," was all I managed. Lily ruffled my hair and left the room with James and Peter. Sirius squeezed my hand and was about to leave as well, but I caught his hand and pulled him back. 

"No, stay," I croaked. Sirius smiled sadly and pulled up the desk chair beside the bed, holding my hand as I fell asleep.