The Places You Go In Your Mind

Petty

My mental health is

a box of jumbled puzzle pieces

that don't quite match up

I have a pathological need

to be the center of attention

but I don't want to be acknowledged

I resist the urge to get petty

over the smallest and dumbest things

like days of radio silence

followed by being told

that someone else's problems are more important

I live in a capsule of despair

that doesn't move far from the couch

I haven't left this apartment

other than to take the dog out

since my recent diagnosis

No one has offered

to take me out somewhere

or even to let me come over

until this morning

and then immediately canceled plans

There is a solid knot of dread

lodged in my stomach

and yet I'm sitting here

resisting the urge to get petty

about this one stupid little thing

Acknowledge me, dammit!

I, too, am several spoons short

of a full table service

but my feelings aren't important

I can't let myself be petty

over this one stupid thing

I, too, exist

but I think

I've decided

to die