The Places You Go In Your Mind

The War Within

Part of me wants to sink into obscurity

It does not wish to be known or acknowledged in any capacity

It hates names and sunlight

and will curl away into depressed silence

when confronted by companionship

This part of me is the home for my anxiety,

the piece of me whose heart races when the phone rings

and will launch itself into total emotional breakdown

if it has to make an outgoing phone call

But no matter how dark and terrible my psyche becomes,

there is always a glimmer of hope

wedged into the corner of my soul,

like the dusty remains in Pandora's Box

Part of me desires fame and fortune,

recognition and honor,

but it is so small that it is frequently swept away

in the rolling tide of my existential dread

and the inky blackness of my trauma,

buried beneath the footnotes of a life half-lived

There is a battle within me,

between the ebbing darkness

and the flickering light

Some days the glow is strong enough to push back the shadows,

but most days the darkness wins

It's hard not to seem like I'm wallowing in self-pity

when the only positive emotions I can access

are related to how much better the world would be without me in it.